Archive for 2020

As It Clear­ly States in Joss Whe­do­n’s Ver­sion Of the Bible

Pro­fes­sor: Does any­one know where the term “Passover” comes from?
Stu­dent: It’s be­cause the Jews put blood on their doors so Je­sus would pass over their house and not kill the first-born son.

–Class­room, Ford­ham Uni­ver­si­ty

Over­heard by: dun­dun

And Who Are You?

Col­lege stu­dent #1, with Brook­lyn meets Boston mys­tery ac­cent: My un­cle is a doc­tor. Well, he’s like a doc­tor. I mean he works in a hos­pi­tal, but you know, once you work in a hos­pi­tal for 15 years you might as well be a doc­tor cause you know it all by then, any­way. Well, he says that food co­mas are re­al. Yeah, you know, it’s like the cyanide in the turkey or some­thing.
Col­lege stu­dent #2: I have no idea what you are talk­ing about.

–LIRR

Over­heard by: Dara

Ug­ly Girls, Rep­re­sent!

Sixth grad­er: Yo! Miss Stevens*, how old are you?
Stu­dent teacher: 20.
Sixth grad­er: Are you a vir­gin?
Stu­dent teacher: I don’t think that’s an ap­pro­pri­ate ques­tion.
Sixth grad­er: Aight. It’s okay. I’m a vir­gin, too.

–Uni­ver­si­ty Neigh­bor­hood Mid­dle School

Over­heard by: teacher