Woman #1: I heard your son started going to my son’s doctor.
Woman #2: Yeah, he has a great bedside manner… And he has a handlebar mustache, too, haha.
Woman #1: Yeah, so does my gyno.
–29th & 3rd
Overheard by: Jeffrey G.
Archive for 2020
As It Clearly States in Joss Whedon’s Version Of the Bible
Professor: Does anyone know where the term “Passover” comes from?
Student: It’s because the Jews put blood on their doors so Jesus would pass over their house and not kill the first-born son.
–Classroom, Fordham University
Overheard by: dundun
And Who Are You?
College student #1, with Brooklyn meets Boston mystery accent: My uncle is a doctor. Well, he’s like a doctor. I mean he works in a hospital, but you know, once you work in a hospital for 15 years you might as well be a doctor cause you know it all by then, anyway. Well, he says that food comas are real. Yeah, you know, it’s like the cyanide in the turkey or something.
College student #2: I have no idea what you are talking about.
–LIRR
Overheard by: Dara
Sounds Pretty Vanilla to Me, Bob
Entrepreneur #1: We could have ice cream hands jobs.
Entrepreneur #2: Huh?
Entrepreneur #1: Yeah, two things everybody likes.
–Bleecker Street & Broadway
Like a Celibate Priest With a Huge Dick
Tipsy attractive Asian lesbian to girlfriend: Oh, well. Actually, I just learned how to deep throat in December… Pretty awesome, once you get it down.
Tipsy, equally attractive girlfriend: My last girlfriend said she used to do it, too! Wow, men must hate me.
–Uptown 1 Train
Ugly Girls, Represent!
Sixth grader: Yo! Miss Stevens*, how old are you?
Student teacher: 20.
Sixth grader: Are you a virgin?
Student teacher: I don’t think that’s an appropriate question.
Sixth grader: Aight. It’s okay. I’m a virgin, too.
–University Neighborhood Middle School
Overheard by: teacher
“That’s not my definition of success.”
Hobo: I’m trying to get something to eat.
Suit: Well, you’re obviously not going to be that successful without having any money.
–94th & Broadway
He’s a Guide Dog for the Socially Impaired
Friendly old lady: Did you see the way your dog greeted me outside? Stood right up on its hind legs to say hello! Such a sweet animal!
Middle-aged computer geek: Yes, he likes to socialize. I’m working. Enjoy.
–Starbucks, Broadway & 70th St
Overheard by: Susan Volchok
Reader Poll: Should Meth Be Required for Tourists?
13-year-old brunette to tourists: Argh! Move!
13-year-old redhead: These people need to learn the ethics of jaywalking.
–Times Square
Overheard by: emma
New Car Buyers Have Higher Standards Than Ever Before
Girl #1: Overpriced, and totally not worth it.
Girl #2: But does it come with a vibrator?
–43rd St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Taylor
