Midwestern lady: Oh dear, what a blouse shirt. Where did you get that?
German tourist: Thanks. It’s from Germany.
Midwestern lady: Germany? I think I’ve heard of that designer before. Do they have a shop in New York?
–99 East & 52nd St
Midwestern lady: Oh dear, what a blouse shirt. Where did you get that?
German tourist: Thanks. It’s from Germany.
Midwestern lady: Germany? I think I’ve heard of that designer before. Do they have a shop in New York?
–99 East & 52nd St
Librarian: You’ll have to go to Bronx Library Center for that.
Geography wizard: Is that in Manhattan?
–Van Nest Library, The Bronx
Older man: You get on my nerves… You get on my nerves, and I do not want to be arrested for beating a child.
Kid, cheerfully: You won’t!
–Staples, Broadway & 184th St
Overheard by: prefers them over easy
Guy #1: Dude, let’s go see Fiddler on the Roof. I heard it’s sick.
Guy #2: Oh, that’s the sequel to The Wizard of Oz, right? With the witch of the East… Right?
Guy #1: Let’s go get high.
Guy #2: Okay.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Darius Izad
Short, fat, toothless-sounding woman: What we do is not disgraceful. There’s nothing disgraceful about you.
Tall thin man, with boom box in hand: No.
Short, fat, toothless-sounding woman: There’s nothing disgraceful about me.
Tall thin man: No.
Short, fat, toothless-sounding woman: It’s the sin that’s disgraceful. Us, holding hands, how we show our love, that’s fine. It would be a whole different story if I wasn’t married, but I am.
–Essex & Delancey
Overheard by: nb
Student #1: I think your booty is just so bodacious it, like, breaks your pants.
Student #2: Haha, yeah…
–Kimmel Center, NYU
“Legalize Marijuana” volunteer: Legalize marijuana now!
Cop to another: Man, I agree with that.
–Atlantic Avenue, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Remi
Hipster girl: I haven’t seen any of your Facebook pictures, and I’ve been your friend for like a year!
Hipster boy: Really? You should.
Hipster girl: I’m checking them right now.
Hipster boy: Let me warn you, though — there are a lot of pictures of my penis on there.
Hipster girl: Oh, I’m used to that.
–Apple Store, 5th Ave
German: Why those birds suddenly appear? Every time! In the mirror!
–Williamsburg
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Wife: Ooh, look, honey, they’ve got that Le Courvoisier chair!
–MoMa
Comedy club promoter: Hey, you guys want free beers and some laughs?
Teen tourists’ chaperone: They’re underage.
Comedy club promoter: How about free sodas and a few giggles?
–Outside Hilton Theatre
Overheard by: Amused Teenage Tourist
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist