Archive for January, 2021

Wombsday One-Liners

Woman holding large ice cream, to man: You don’t know what it’s like to menstruate! You have no idea!

–Lafeyette & Astor Pl

Overheard by: I have some idea

Newspaper guy: It’s just like when I was selling tampons to Alicia Silverstone. I was like, ‘Is this my life?’

–34th & Broadway

Chick to friends: I think my mom is going through menopause. She wants to move to Colorado.

–St. John’s University, Queens

Biotech to friend: Stop doing the tampon dance and let’s get out of here already.

–Duane Reade

Well-dressed Indian man shouting at woman: You don’t need no fucking tampons! Tampax — that’s a tampon! Tampax is the fucking mafia!

–2 train

Overheard by: Still Confused

Wheeling and Dealing (A NYC Short Story)

Chick on cell: …girl, you know I told her I would give her $5 and she would put in five. Right, so the guy gave us two dimes, right?… No, he gave us the second one for free, but it looked mangled, so then we went out back to smoke it and hers flew away…Yeah, it flew away into the bushes. Yo, I told her if she wanted to smoke grass for reals, that’s on her. I was like, I’m out…Right, so then I didn’t have no money to get back on the bus because my metrocard ran out at 8:30. She only had a dollar, and I was like, “what am I supposed to do with a dollar?”.

–BX40 bus

Wednesday One-Liners’ Next Stop Is Meth

Man shouting to woman nearby: Yo! You better hurry up. I got you a ride. I’m going straight to the bridge, and I ain’t stopping for no crack!

–Amsterdam Ave & 92nd St.

Overheard by: Dana

Girl in dress to friends: And that was the first time I sucked dick for crack…

–10th St & Ave A

Man to another as he walks away: Don’t spend it all in one crackhouse.


Woman, yelling at man twenty feet ahead: Hey! Don’t walk away from me. At least you got crack yesterday!

–Broadway & 96th St