Guy: I’m a NyLon.
Girl: A what?
Guy: A NyLon. New York-Londoner.
Girl: Oh, well, I’m a NoInt.
Guy: NoInt?
Girl: Yeah, Not Interested.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Lucy Stone
Archive for February, 2021
That’s Such a Crime
Teen boy #1: She’s not a slave.
Teen boy #2: Slaves have a third grade reading level.
Teen boy #1: Fourth.
–B31 bus
In the Hearts and Minds of Everyone in New York
Girl #1: So he went to Louisiana for college and he was evacuated! I was like, “Ha! You had to leave the country the day you got there!”
Girl #2: State. Louisiana’s a state.
Girl #1: Really? Where is it?
–Boardwalk, Coney Island
Said She’d Never Been Shortchanged Like That Before
Passenger in taxi: Have you ever kissed any of the woman you have given rides home to?
Taxi driver: No, but I fucked one once.
–Brooklyn Bridge
Overheard by: crookfromthebrook
Hunter Has More of a Red Connotation
Crazy lady: Excuse me! Girls, can you adopt a dog or a cat? You know that many animals need homes.
Chick #1: Oh, we’d love to, but we can’t have pets.
Chick #2: Yeah, our dorms don’t allow animals
Crazy lady: Oh, you’re in college?
Chick #1: Yeah.
Crazy lady: At the law school?
Chick #3: No, Hunter.
Crazy lady: I thought that Hunter was for the Blacks.
–23rd & Lexington
Overheard by: Kaitlyn
Like Anyone Hears Anything Said on a Cell Phone
Jogging hoochie on cell: Yeah, I just touched down in Boston. No, I’m still in the airport waiting for my bag.
Black guy: Don’t believe her! She’s in Atlantic City!
–Central Park
Overheard by: MaliceAlice
The Need for Anti-Meme Drugs Becomes Ever More Pressing
Ghetto girl: Man, I can’t believe he did this! I mean, we was in this relationship for like two weeks, and now he be tryin’ to dump me! He was all, “Yeah, we’re over.” I was like, “What you talkin’ about?” Then he was all, “I’m taking you off my Top 8.“
Passerby: He took you off his Top 8? Oh, hell, no.
–Baryshnikov Arts Center
Overheard by: random dancer
Not Anymore
Trashy girl (loudly): So I was suckin his cock for like 45 minutes and nothin happened, I was like, “fuck yo problem?“
Friend: Word?
Trashy girl: For real! (turns to staring suit) Excuse me, this is a private conversation!
–A Train
And by “They,” of Course I Mean Lewis and Clark
Hipster #1: Narwhals don’t bite–you’re impaled.
Hipster #2: So they must have discovered narwhals before unicorns.
–Wasabi, Manhattan Ave & Bedford Ave, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Laura
Actually, Just Its Lower Third
Asian guy: Are you going to show me a naked fat woman? Because I’m really not in the mood right now…
Hot blonde: No, just her stomach…
–Times Square
Overheard by: cat
