Archive for June, 2021

Wedne­say One-lin­ers, The End

Frat­boy: They’re go­ing to tear that build­ing down, be­cause it’s se­ri­ous­ly de­crap­i­tat­ed. I mean, just to­tal­ly de­crap­i­tat­ed.

–BAM Cin­e­matek

Girl on cell: He’s go­ing to hell and I don’t even care. He’s go­ing to die and I’m fine with it.

–Hous­ton & 1st Ave.

Guy: My mom was go­ing through menopause, and I could to­tal­ly re­late.

–Lafayette & 3rd St.

Over­heard by: Tedd

One Might Even Say You’re Nuts.

Girl #1: I want choco­late.
Girl #2: So get some choco­late.
Girl #1: I’m go­ing to get some m&ms. The peanut ones.
Girl #2: But the plain ones are choco­laty-er.
Girl #1: But if I just eat the choco­late off the peanuts, and then throw the peanuts away, then I’m on­ly eat­ing half the calo­ries!
Girl #2: You’re stu­pid.
Girl #1: No! (shows girl #2 the nu­tri­tion­al in­fo on the back of both pack­ets)
Girl #2: Yes.

–New York Times Cafe­te­ria