Suit #1: That was a pretty good meeting…
Suit #2: Yeah, we got a lot done.
Hobo: Was Liam Neeson in it?
–51st & Madison
Overheard by: BDA
Archive for June, 2021
If It Tastes Like Shit/ It’s Easier to Quit
20-something guy, reading cigarette pack: “Light” does not mean safer. It refers to taste. Lights wont help you quit smoking.
Friend: Uh, alright. Let me get a pack of ultra lights.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Jack Straw
Someone Get This Woman a Drink
Woman: Hi, do you have any meatloaf?…Um, that’s not meatloaf.
Store lady: It’s almost the same.
Woman: Not really…Do you have any meatloaf?
Server lady: It’s the same thing. It’s beef. It all tastes the same.
Woman: Yeah, okay. I’ll take three.
–Whole Foods, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Grace Aldridge
He Did Look Kind of Sexy, Laying There
Suit #1: There was some great tail at that funeral.
Suit #2: Oh yeah!
–28th & 5th
Overheard by: brp
Wednesay One-liners, The End
Fratboy: They’re going to tear that building down, because it’s seriously decrapitated. I mean, just totally decrapitated.
–BAM Cinematek
Girl on cell: He’s going to hell and I don’t even care. He’s going to die and I’m fine with it.
–Houston & 1st Ave.
Guy: My mom was going through menopause, and I could totally relate.
–Lafayette & 3rd St.
Overheard by: Tedd
Presenting Our Catch Phrase for the Day
Woman #1: Ah, look at those beautiful puppies.
Woman #2: Puppies are bullshit.
–Bay Ridge
The Von Trapp Children Are Just Annoying in Real Life
Loud girl: She’s leaving the train!
Loud friends #1, #2, #3 and #4: Yay!
Loud friend #1: She’s leaving the train!
Loud friend #2: She is! Yay!
Girl getting off train: I love you guys! I’m leaving!
All: Bye!
(train leaves platform)
All: She’s off the train! Yeah, she got off the train!
(they all start singing very loudly)
–1 Train
One Might Even Say You’re Nuts.
Girl #1: I want chocolate.
Girl #2: So get some chocolate.
Girl #1: I’m going to get some m&ms. The peanut ones.
Girl #2: But the plain ones are chocolaty-er.
Girl #1: But if I just eat the chocolate off the peanuts, and then throw the peanuts away, then I’m only eating half the calories!
Girl #2: You’re stupid.
Girl #1: No! (shows girl #2 the nutritional info on the back of both packets)
Girl #2: Yes.
–New York Times Cafeteria
The Difference Between Obvious-Crazy and Stealth-Crazy
Crazy vet: Hey lady, you got any kids?
Sympathetic, but slightly freaked out woman: No.
Crazy vet: You got any grandkids?
Sympathetic, but slightly freaked out woman: Yeah, I got six grandbabies.
–14 D Bus
Overheard by: Fer
To Protect and… and.… Damn!
Meek tourist, after spending 10 minutes trying to hail a cab: Can you please help me hail a cab?
Disgruntled cop: Fuck you! Find your own damn cab! Christ!
–Times Square
