Archive for 2021

Backdoor Wednesday One-liners

Drunk: If God didn’t want us to be gay, He wouldn’t have put our g‑spot all the way up our ass!

–3rd Ave. between 11th & 12th 

Overheard by: Zack

Fratboy: So if I tell her I wanna put my tongue up her ass, you think she’ll relate to me?

–1st Ave. & 10th St. 

Overheard by: Sarah T. 

Fiancee: OK, fine. You can have strippers at your bachelor party. But if I hear you stuck your dick in some nasty hooker’s ass, I’m never sucking it again.

–Port Authority

Overheard by: Mad William Flint

Woman: Yeah, whatever, Mr. Doesn’t-Know-What-a-Suppository-Is!

–The Angelica, Houston Street

Goombah: Nah, nah, nah…I’d suck a guy’s dick balls deep, but I would never eat a man’s ass. That’s just gay.

–Williamsburg

Wednesday One-Liners Did Coke in the ’80s

Young lady yuppie on cell: It is a perfectly normal fear to be afraid of bubbles!

–83rd & Broadway

Overheard by: KS

Yuppie chick holding hands with yuppie boyfriend: Penis, penis, penis, penis.

–Astor Place

Overheard by: sarah

Yuppie chick on cell: The thing about my ex is it’s, like, the story of ‘If you give a mouse a fucking cookie, I mean, eventually he’ll want to climb into bed with you and have you read him a fucking bedtime story.’

–Rector St

Yuppie: Let’s go find my ex-fiance and beat her up.

–46th & 8th

Just Get Him Sauced and Toss Him in the Broiler

Obnoxious white lawyer to his China doll date: We’ll have unaju. I think unaju is eel from the sea, and unaji is eel from a river.
Obnoxious white laywer to the Japanese sushi chef: We’ll have unaju. Is it true that unaju is eel from the sea, and unaji is eel from a river?
Japanese sushi chef nods politely.
Obnoxious white lawyer to his China doll date: Did you hear that? Unaju is eel from the sea, and unaji is eel from a river.

–Shimizu, W 51st & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Asian American couple who had to deal with this all night long