Archive for 2021

Wednes­day One-Lin­ers Have a View to a Kill

God freak: The Chris­tians are pray­ing and not killing. The Chris­tians on­ly kill once in two thou­sand years, or maybe a thou­sand years. Three hun­dred years. God will for­give you for killing a hun­dred men, but he will kill you be­cause of the ra­dio.

–R train

Chick on cell: You mur­dered him? Oh… you did­n’t. Well that’s good. It would have been bad for your im­age.

–Cen­tral Park

Over­heard by: Lau­ra

Dude: Yo, don’t be so an­gry while I kill every­one.

–GWB Ter­mi­nal, 175th St

Bean-Lover: And I said, “Yo, bitch, I kill you for a can o’ pin­to beans.”

–10th St & 1st Ave

B&T girl: I want that ex­act kind of re­la­tion­ship. Ex­cept for, like, the whole mass mur­der­ing thing.

–Knit­ting Fac­to­ry, Leonard St

Pro­fes­sor: Why kill your­self when you can just steal some­one else’s idea?

–Hunter Col­lege

Over­heard by: acep & arielle

Woman on cell: Do you know how many ex­e­cu­tions I’ve been to over the last year?…5.

–Cen­tral Park

Over­heard by: MC