Archive for 2021

Wednesday One-Liners Leave Track Marks

Former Broadway ingenue: He injects silicone into his penis and testicles. He has for years.

–A‑list Broadway party

Overheard by: kgrahams

Wannabe policy maker: They should have umbrella exchange centers. You know, like needle exchanges.

–Washington Square South

Overheard by: Lacey

Dad: You want to get arrested? Brian, put those syringes down. If you want to get high, go outside and find some mothafucka on the street.

–Emergency room, Beth Israel

Overheard by: Coughing in the Ghetto Israel

Ditz: I love hepatitis shots!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Salmon Slap

Hipster chick on cell: Yeah, you should probably get a rabies shot for that… And a pap smear.

–Washington Square Park

You Can’t Live in the City If You Can’t Screen out Distractions

Guy: So, where were you this evening?
Sober girl #1: I was in Little Italy.
Drunk guy: Shoes! Go on YouTube and search for ‘shoes’!
Sober girl #1: Oh my god! I’ve seen that video! ‘These shoes cost…‘
Drunk guy and sober girl #2: ‘Three hundred dollars’!
Drunk girl: You two are hot. You should fuck her in the ass.
Guy: So, where were you this evening?
Sober girl #1: I was in Little Italy.

–4th Ave & 11th St

Guess Which Bush Daughter Is Which

Girl #1: Oh my god, he called you a bitch? I am going to kill him!
Girl #2: Nooo, it’s okay, I am a bitch. Like, I really never care when people say mean things about me because they’re always true. Like, I’m really mean. I am a huge bitch.
Girl #1: Yeah, same, I guess… I’m a whore.

–26th & 10th

Overheard by: Gaby