Archive for 2021

Wednesday One-Liners Have Started Drinking Alone

Teacher: That’s a beautiful outfit! I forgot today was Culture Day — I would’ve come in drunk.

–Brooklyn Tech

Overheard by: Liz

JAP: I was so drunk, and the next day I woke up in an unmade bed!

–Times Square

NJ Transit conductor: We’re on the train goin’ to Dovah. This is a late-night train for the drunk college kids. If you miss your stop, that sucks — we ain’t goin’ back. In Dovah, it’s ovah.

–Penn Station

Chorus of drunks: Rehab sucks! Rehab sucks! Rehab sucks!

–Welcome to the Johnson’s, LES

Overheard by: Alexis

Large, loud lady dragging dirty hot pink suitcase to passerby: I’ve got a bottle of beer in one hand and a holy Bible in the other!

–W 39th & 8th

20-ish director type to others: Okay, I’m laying down the law for this show. Nobody drinks — none of the actors are allowed to drink before the show tomorrow. I can drink before the show, but none of the actors can drink before the show.

–Krain’s Theatre, E 4th & 2nd

Overheard by: could use a drink now

Tipsy dude: Either way, the test is coming back positive, so let’s get drunk.

–3rd & 12th