Archive for 2021

Bitch, Say My Order! Say It!

Guy at Starbucks: You know just how I like it, right?
Barista: No, I really have no idea.

–West 4th & Washington Square East

Overheard by: Sahar

And the Gypsies Just Aren’t Nabbing Them Like They Used to

Flustered woman, about her brood: Have we lost anyone yet?
Husband: Ummm… No.
Flustered woman: Well, who are we going to lose first? Because we haven’t lost anyone yet.

–Times Square

Overheard by: Josh

Headline by: Aeirlys

Runners-Up:
· “Because Abortion THIS Late in the Term Is Just Tacky” — Hillary Claire
· “Hobos Aren’t Born. They’re Made.” — Krisztina
· “It Looked So Much Easier in Home Alone” — You Don’t Want To Know
· “Things Were Shaky Until Fraulein Maria Came Along” — allison
· “Two Roads Diverged in the Woods — I Chose the One My Children Couldn’t Travel” — Drewp

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

And Any Number Of Additional Holes

Goth chick #1: You wanna go out Friday?
Goth chick #2: I ain’t got no money. Well, I do, but I’m saving up for a tattoo.
Goth chick #1: Oh, you finally got a job?
Goth chick #2: No. But a woman at an interview told me I should take the rings out of my lip if I want a professional job. So I’m gonna. I mean I’m 22 I need to grow up.
Goth chick #1: And the nose ring?
Goth chick #2: No way! I may have to grow up but I still have style.

–F Train

Overheard by: wigguynyc

Wait, So Where Are We, Again?

Chick #1: Which one of these countries does not border Argentina? Brazil, Uruguay, Peru, or Bolivia?
Chick #2: Peru, duh.
Chick #3: Obviously. [Makes note on paper, reading aloud] Peru, Europe.
Chick #2: Peru’s not in Europe, dude.
Chick #3: No, no, because all the other countries are in South America, the reason Peru isn’t connected is because it’s in Europe!

–NYU

Step Three: Revise Facts to Fit Hypothesis

Girl #1: So, you’re a vegetarian?
Girl #2: Yep. Eating animals kills.
Girl #1: Wait, but you had sushi the other night.
Girl #2: Fish doesn’t count. It’s, like, not an animal.
Girl #1: Huh? Yeah, it is. It, like, breathes and stuff.
Girl #2: But it’s underwater.
Girl #1: No, it’s an animal, ’cause it moves around and swims.
Girl #2: Then how come I can eat it?

–NYU