Archive for 2021

Wednesday One-Liners for Kings County

Scholar: Brooklyn is the Paris of New York.

–Grand Army Plaza Station, Brooklyn

Overheard by: ivel

Crazy: Fuck Brooklyn! I can pay for Brooklyn on any other day. Yes, that’s right — I’m a black man, and I am not going to Brooklyn. What do you know about that! And you, you’re a Jew. I’ll still pray for you. Wherever we end up, I’ll still pray for you. Fuck all you people. Except you, Jew. I love you.

–L train from 6th Ave to 3rd Ave

Overheard by: Nash Astor

Girl: I just don’t like living in Brooklyn. My place is, like, four whole blocks away from Dunkin’ Donuts.

–Tenacious D album signing, Virgin Megastore

Guy: Sobriety is my back, I am the camel, and Brooklyn is the straw.

–A/C/E subway platform, Lower West Side

Overheard by: Magaret

Lady: I like the brown eggs more than the white. Well, I have 12 at home in my fridge — it’s like Brooklyn in there.

–15th St & Union Square West

Wednesday One-Liners Are a Real Page-Turner

Woman: He read a book on fisting, and now he wants to share it with his class.

–L train

Dude: They should have made Beowulf into a book — they would have made a lot more money.

–34th & 8th

Overheard by: LetheaBu

Girl: It used to be the only reason I liked Anna Quindlen was ’cause she was blind. Now it’s like, ‘Dude, she can read?!’

–Barnard College

NYU bimbette to studious friend: Your problem is that you read for all your classes. Sobriety and scholarly. Those are your problems.

–Starbucks, W 4th St

Overheard by: wine girl

Nine-year-old girl: I forgot my book, and I was supposed to do a report on it! Now what am I going to do?! I’m so senile.

–JFK

Overheard by: mr itchie

Book-hawking hobo: … And this is my new book, ‘If You Don’t Beat Your Children, They’ll End Up Like Me’!

–6 train

Overheard by: Zarek

Wednesday Conga Liners

Man on cell: Yeah, so do you know that show Dancing with the Stars? They got the idea for it from the camera in my shower.

–6th Ave & 55th St

Overheard by: Alicia

Aging badass to lady friend: Yeah, I totally got escorted out of a Tom Petty concert for dancing in the aisles.

–17th St & 5th Ave

Overheard by: Original Badass

Black guy: Hey everybody! Stop what you’re doing! There’s two black guys about to dance on this train! That’s something you don’t see often!

–A Train

Flamboyant gay man to friend: You can’t sashay in there. There’s no room to sashay at all.

–Outside LGBT Community Center, during Fur Ball

Overheard by: pandarants

Drunk Asian girl: It’s always time to dance in North Korea.

–2nd St & Ave B