Archive for 2021

So We Played Naked Charades and I Guessed It Right Away

Girl to friend: So, I found out that Jon has herpes and he never told me.
(friend looks at her in shock)
Girl: Not that kind of herpes, the other kind. But I talked to him about it. It’s pretty funny, actually. But he didn’t tell me. Well…we don’t really talk about stuff like that.

–110th St & Broadway

Headline by: ikki nikki

Runners-Up:
· “…Until I Googled Valtrex, That Is” — keeps on giving
· “Genital Sores Tend to Speak for Themselves” — DCGeek
· “So Long As He Keeps It in His Ass, It Doesn’t Affect Our Relationship” — BenGay
· “The Line for Guest Appearences on Maury Starts Here…” — John
· “We Don’t Want Things to Get Too Simplex” — erak
· “Which Is Why He Doesn’t Know About My Three Abortions” — Jesse
· “You Mean the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” Kind Of Herpes?” — leoladie23

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

That’s Including the Rocks in Her Head

Woman #1: This train goes really fast!
Woman #2: They don’t run it as often, I think because they’re afraid people might jump in front of it.
Woman #1: Oh my god! Who could be that depressed? Take some pills, for Christ’s sake.
Woman #2: I’m surprised it’s such a problem here, I mean, duh, you got all these tall buildings.
Woman #1: Well, any building–
Woman #2: No, you gotta go up at least 17 stories to be sure, otherwise you just end up in a wheelchair which is, duh, super-depressing.
Woman #1: 17 stories!
Woman #2: Maybe 15 for you, you weigh more than me.

–4 train

The Rocky Horror Wednesday One-Liner Show

Old lady to grad student son: Hmmm, I never thought of it before, but pre-op transsexuals are like ABDs!

–98th & Broadway

Overheard by: Kobayashi

Hipster: This is New York! You’d think I could have a sex change and everyone would be okay with it!

–3rd & Lex

Overheard by: West Coast Courtney

Guy: So, let me get this straight — she was a fine-ass chick that looked like a dude that wasn’t a fine-ass chick, because she looked like a dude?

–Court St & Atlantic Ave

20-ish chick: I can’t believe how selfish she is. I mean, why wouldn’t she share her tranny?

–Brooklyn Burger Bar

Fat Italian guy in velvet running suit: Everybody fucks… We all fuck… But did she have to fuck a guy with tits?!

–Little Italy

Overheard by: Frank C.

Man: You’re right — I thought I was the only one that thought that the skinny little woman from Sex and the City and Jennifer Aniston look like trannies.

–Chambers St & W Broadway

Overheard by: sonny

Female student: Who would have expected that they would play the ‘Your dead brother is actually a woman’ card?

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Matthew

Translation: “God, I Need a Woman.”

Man: Yeah, my mother raised me right. I make sure I eat breakfast every day.
Woman: Mmm-hmm.
Man: I have sardines and grits every day.
Woman: Sardines?
Man: Hell, yes. Sometimes I give some of the gravy to the cats, and they go crazy for it. I mean, it don’t matter if they just ate or nothing, they just love the gravy.
Woman: Mmm-hmm.
Man: Gravy. I usually give them a little of whatever I cook. You know, and then they either eat it or they don’t. They like turn their heads away if they don’t like it. But they sure like gravy. Gravy.

–B26 Bus, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster