Drunk girl, clearly underage: Hahaha…
Drunk man, half-carrying her: Come on, let’s go get you pregnant.
Drunk girl, gasping happily: I love babies!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: more than willing to help
Drunk girl, clearly underage: Hahaha…
Drunk man, half-carrying her: Come on, let’s go get you pregnant.
Drunk girl, gasping happily: I love babies!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: more than willing to help
Guy on cell: In a wig, with his pants down, watching her from his car.
–33rd St, Astoria
Overheard by: Ferna
Teen to another: Barack Obama said, “pull your pants up!”
–Broadway & 72nd St
NYU girl: I wanna do it, and I wanna do it in my pants box.
–Weinstein Hall, NYU
Border’s employee to man sleeping in chair: Sir, could you please wake up? …and also zip up your pants.
–Borders
Guy on phone: Well, I guess I thought you might be kind of gay after you invited me to that “no pants” party.
–Astoria
Girl tourist #1: Oh my gosh, look at what that guy is wearing!
Girl tourist #2: Ew. Blue jacket, striped shirt, black pants, brown shoes with no socks. That’s terrible.
Girl tourist #1: Yeah, but, he can do that, right?
Girl tourist #2: Uh, no. Hello, nobody can get away with that.
Girl tourist #1: But, no, he can do that because he’s, like, really from New York.
–LaGuardia Airport
Man: I just like to smoke crack, get naked and fuck young boys. Is that wrong?
Woman: That is very wrong.
–East Village
Woman (slowly walking toward a train whose doors are closing): Wait, wait… Hold the doors!
(conductor closes doors, woman glares at him)
Conductor: C’mon now… If you wanna get on my train, you best show some hustle!
–Times Square Subway Station
Overheard by: hustler
Bodybuilder #1: Yeah, Andy called me earlier and said that he’s dropping weight so quickly he might have to come into the competition as a lightweight.
Bodybuilder #2: There is no way that Andy can do that. I mean, he was a lightweight last year. That’s not how it works.
Bodybuilder #1: I know, he needs to really cut down on the cardio. I mean, when you have totally ripped glutes, and you have huge veins on top of those glutes, you know you’re ready for the show.
Bodybuilder #2: But whatever, he will look incredible.
Bodybuilder #1: Yes he will.
–Gold’s Gym, W. 54th Street
Overheard by: Number 4 the Lizard
Father-of-the-year: My son. He came home with a swollen eye. I asked him why and he said another boy hit him. I asked him if he hit him back and he said, ‘No.’ I asked him why and he said, ‘Because that would hurt him.’ So I said, ‘He’s hurting you, isn’t he?’ So I told him to hit him back. That’s how the world is. Do you think when he starts going to school he’ll catch on?
–53rd & 6th
Hard hat meathead: Hey man, I haven’t seen you since that time you hit that guy in the face with a wrench!
–LIRR — Long Beach to Penn Station
Evander Childs graduate: Oh, you went to Spellman? I think I beat up a kid from Spellman.
–125th & Lenox
Angry man on cell: Tell her that if she walks in the wrong direction again, I am going to punch her in the fucking face!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Marissa
Guy: Dude, I’ve totally had girls ask me to give them bloody noses before sex.
–5th St between 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: MMS
Girl: There were these spiders on her so the guy she was with gave her a good beating all over.
–1 train
Overheard by: arachnophile
Hipster girl: Oh, I’m not saying love doesn’t exist…just that I’m not going to ever have any, so why shouldn’t I just settle for money and sex?
–Bowery Ballroom, Delancey Street
Overheard by: Keith
Little girl in stroller (screaming): Touch ma hair! Touch ma hair! Touch me hair!
Mother: Sweetie, please be quiet.
Little girl: Touch ma hair! Touch ma hair!
–Penn Station
Overheard by: HMS
Girl #1: I am, like, so sick of eating matzah!
Girl #2: I’m not Jewish, but I like to eat it.
Girl #1: Do you know why the Jews eat matzah at passover?
Girl #2: I think it’s, like, because the Jews were baking bread when the Nazis came and they didn’t have time to wait for it to cook, right?
–Hotel Gansevoort lobby, Meatpacking District
Overheard by: Cynthia Z
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist