Archive for 2022

That’s Brilliant! Let’s Make Out!

Worried girl: I don’t know what to do. I just met her, but she texts me non stop. Once I got off the plane, I had a text from her saying: “how’s New York?” I didn’t respond. It’s weird.
Guy: Does she think you’re a dyke?
Worried girl: I don’t know. I told her my boyfriend and I broke up. I don’t know why she’d think that.
Other girl: You should’ve responded to her text saying something like: “New York is great, I’m just sucking on some guy’s dick right now.”

–Meatpacking District

Rest in Peace, Wednesday One-liners

Anorexia on cell: Oh, she died? From what?…Oh, that’s horrible. Well, everyone has to die somehow.

–Coffee shop, Madison & 79th

Overheard by: Julz

Cab driver: Are you trying for die, bitch?

–Taxi, Houston & Broadway

Overheard by: Aaron Brumer 

Girl on cell: …and they took me to a psychic and the psychic said I’m, like, dead inside and that I have nothing going for me.

–Broadway & Broome

Guy: I’ll tell you what: I’ll kill myself, you don’t have to bother.

–47th & 5th

Woman on cell: Girl, you know I only gotta do two things: stay black and die. And I’m doing that real well. Staying black, I mean.

–Karavas Place ladies’ room, W. 4th Street

Girl: Oh, so I forgot to tell you about my ex who died last year. He drowned…this is a good story.

–World Financial Center