Archive for 2022

Wednesday One-Liners Sock It to Me, Sock It to Me, Sock It to Me, Sock It to Me…

Ghetto black woman to four-year-old son: The ice ain’t gonna respect you, you gotta respect the ice, nigga.

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Steven

Obnoxiously loud drunk guy: I need a girl who will respect my receding hairline!

–Virgil’s, W 44th St

Overheard by: Check, please!

Thugette: I’m just going to say, “Look, I mean no disrespect, but go fuck yourself. I mean no disrespect, but just go fuck yourself.”

–6 Train

Overheard by: i mean disrespect

20-something guy to friend: Man, you don’t understand. I really respect this broad…

–35th St & Lexington

Can We at Least Agree That Two Whites Don’t Make a Wong?

Highly agitated gay man, bleach-blond, indeterminately biracial: My mother was black! She died in 1999!
Middle aged black woman: Now, wait a second…
Highly agitated gay man: My mother was black and my father was Chinese!
Middle aged black woman: Now, you just don’t worry about them…
Highly agitated gay man: If I’m white, it’s because my black mother was white!
Middle aged black woman: Now you’re just bein’ crazy.

–Prospect Park, Brooklyn

Overheard by: MPW

Wednesday One-Liners Are Pissed About Gay Bishops

Proselytizer: You’ve got to make sure you’re reading the King James Bible. God uses the other ones for conversion, but they’re ten percent less effective.

–Downtown 2 train

Overheard by: Susan Volchok

Mom: Look, this one’s from Jordan and Israel. That’s where Jesus is from!

–Mouse House, Bronx Zoo

Overheard by: LT$

Woman: I’m gonna give him a holy bath and all kinds of things.

–Columbus Bakery, 83rd & Columbus

Pamphlet lady: That’s why you’ve got no power! Where’s the mayor? He’s not Jesus! He’s not coming to save you!

–Penn Station

Soccer mom: …and then he asked if he could go to church with Grandma, and I said, “Well, I don’t think so, Ryan*. Daddy’s had to yell at you all night and spank you twice, and only good boys get to go to church.”

–Central Park

Overheard by: God would be proud

Hobo: The Holy Spirit will whup yo’ ass!

–Court St

Young passerby, to old man entering church: Good luck!

–48th & 8th

Overheard by: Russell Z