Archive for 2022

…As We Learned in AP Biology.

Hood kid #1: Yo, we talkin bout Tyrell here. We ain’t talking bout no debonair type nigga. We talking bout Tyrell.
Hood kid #2: I know, I know yo. He lyin nigga. Any woman who takes a shower be gettin ten times the amount of pussy Tyrell gets.

–E Train

Now We Know What You Want

Male college student: Hmmm… I think maybe I’ll order something.
Horny female companion: You should, since we both know you haven’t eaten anything today.
Male college student: Oh, no — I had lunch earlier…
Horny female companion: That was a sexual innuendo, stupid.

–Starbucks, 115th & Broadway

His Friends Don’t Have the Heart to Tell Him It’s a Mr. Peanut Costume

Boy #1: What are you gonna be?
Boy #2: Soul of the devil.
Boy #1: What were you last year?
Boy #2, annoyed: Soul of the devil.
Boy #1: And the year before that?
Boy #2: Soul of the devil! I always go as soul of the devil.
Boy #1: What’s soul of the devil?
Boy #2: This character I made up. He’s like a lawyer for the devil. I have a cane.

–Park Slope, Brooklyn