Innocent little girl: What’s pig latin?
Big brother’s pudgy friend: It’s like Latin, but you add a “y” at the end of everything.
–N Train
Archive for 2022
That’s Not the First Upgrade You Should Go For
Chick: People donate body parts?
Older woman: Yes, when people die they can donate their body so that other people can benefit from it.
Chick: So, like, I could get a new arm or something?
–LIRR
Overheard by: ladolce
I Missed My Stop Again?
Tourist #1: Wait, where are we?
Skater kid: Fuckin’ Earth man, fucking Earth.
Tourist #2: Wait, where?
–Bethesda Fountain, Central Park
…For Silly Things Like Your Medicine.
(dad is making Care Bear stuffed animal “dance.“
Little girl: Stop shaking her, daddy! You’re gonna make her cry! Except she’s a mommy and mommies don’t cry, right?
Dad: Only when they want money.
–Manhattan-bound F Train
Overheard by: alisha
Keeps Failing the Entrance Exam
Woman: She worked in a lesbian bar… She is not a lesbian.
Man: Well, she should be a lesbian.
Woman: Yes, exactly.
–87th & Lex
Those Celebrity Perfumes Should Come with a Warning
Girl #1: So have you heard about all these alligators in Florida that have been eating women?
Girl #2: No
Girl #1: Yeah, like three women got eaten last week
Girl #2: That’s hilarious.
Girl #1: I know.
–F train between Jay & Bergen
Wednesday One-Liners Kinda Miss Bush’s Speeches
President: Are they de-seminating the office?…I mean decimating?
–40th & Madison Ave
Overheard by: EScrillz
Girl reading poster: The fastest… (pause) “fastest.” Is that a word?
–42nd St AMC Theatre
Overheard by: Steph
Man on cell: Yeah, well that’s what the beasting is for!
–Penn Station
Woman to friends: You know me, I say what I speak.
–Fordham Road
Frenchman trying to learn English: I was a beef with those potatoes!
–TGI Fridays, Times Square
Overheard by: CS
Hipster art student to friend: As much as…like…whatever, like.
–School of Visual Arts
Overheard by: I guess that’s English
Tourist: I feel so elated! Wait…no, I mean, “violated.”
–Uptown 3 Train
Overheard by: Sally Tempo
Leggo My Preggo! Is By Far My Favorite
Student #1: I have a friend who is addicted to pregger porn.
Student #2: What is that?
Student #1: It is watching pregnant women getting fucked in the ass, it’s kind of interesting.
–Columbia University
I Just Skim Over the Gay Parts
Thug: What are you reading?
Thug friend, holding up book: Plato.
–E 180th St, Bronx
Double-Paned Insulated, Baby!
Man #1: I don’t know, do they have windows in Alaska?
Man #2: You mean like Microsoft Windows?
Man #1: No, I mean like windows.
–N platform, Union Square
