Archive for 2022

Wednesday One-liners, the Morning After

Chick on cell: I just fell asleep! It’s not like I’m seeing other people.

–42nd & 5th

Overheard by: Cresny

Chick: You told me you was a celebrity! I sucked yo dick!

–Union Square

Chick: I’m no whore. I told him, the closest you’re getting to getting me from behind, you know, doggie style, is licking your own balls and humping my leg.

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: stuck in great kills

Wednesday One-Liners Happen

Dude on cell: If he wrote a fucking haiku I would shit myself!

–50th b/w 8th & 9th

Hip dude: I was like: “Your voice is drowning me in a wave of bullshit.”

–W 4th

Customer to associate: Where can I pay for this shit?

–Apple Store, 5th Ave

Suit on cell: No, I have IBS. IBS! Ya know, Irritable Bowel Syndrome. I’ll shit when I gotta shit, and that’s the way this is gonna go!

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Quippy Pasqual

am New York paper guy: Get your free am New York! They’re free because their employees get paid shit!

–53rd & 7th Ave

It’s Like Puerto Rico All Up in Here!

Conversation in spanish:
Mexican #1: I have been working so hard.
Mexican #2: Yes me too, I’m so tired.
Mexican #1: I think I’m moving back home, this city is full of weirdos and it sucks!
Mexican #2: Really? Wow I think me too.
I’m mexican and this really made me laugh : P the exodus back home is starting soon just like that movie “a day without a mexican”

–at the 2 train going uptown from the Fulton st station

Overheard by: Jenny Arredondo