Would’ve Meant More If You’d Had It All with Me

Flamboyant art boy: So all that anal sex meant nothing to you?!

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: voltaire

Posted on June 3, 2021
Backdoor, Maryland, Queers

Something Tells Me That Wasn’t Actually Random

Ugg-wearing sorostitute #1: So, this is totally random, but if a gay black man has anal sex, do you think he can see if he has shit on his dick when he’s done?
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #2: Uh…
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #1: How sick would that be? I mean, they’re black. Well, actually, they’re brown. And shit is brown, you know? So how can they tell?
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #2: I would hope they’d notice.
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #1: Think about it! Walking around with shit on your dick? Nasty.
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #2: Maybe that’s why some black people smell bad.
Ugg-wearing sorostitute #1: Oh my god! You’re so right. Ew! If I were a gay man, I’d never take it up the ass from a black guy.

530 Church Street
Ann Arbor, Michigan

Overheard by: Caryn

Posted on February 13, 2021
Backdoor, Michigan, Poop, Sorority types

And the Duke Lacrosse Party Only Got Better

Sophomore #1: [Whispering.]Sophomore #2: Oh, dude! She is hot!
Sophomore #1: [Inaudible.]Sophomore #2: I would so fuck her!
Sophomore #1: [Inaudible.]Sophomore #2: Dude, I so would fuck her. Like, fuck her up the ass.

Mt. Tabor High School
North Carolina

Overheard by: eating lunch.

Posted on July 27, 2020
Backdoor, North Carolina, Sex, Students

…Or Me Having to Give It.

20-something woman preparing turkey to guy: I'm not sure what's worse, pulling all this out of the turkey's ass, or you taking it in the ass last night.

Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: At least some one had a happy thanksgiving

Posted on July 18, 2020
Ass, Backdoor, Compare and contrast, Default, Florida, Women

Best. Peer Advisor. Ever.

Curious friend: Doesn't your mouth get tired?
Small Asian girl: That's what my hands are for!
Curious friend: Don't your arms get tired?!
Small Asian girl: That's what my mouth is for!
Curious friend: What do you do when both get tired?
Small Asian girl: Oh, that's when he puts it in my butt.

Hoboken, New Jersey

Posted on April 25, 2020
Asians, Ass, Backdoor, BJs, Friends, Girls, Hands, Masturbation, Mouth, New Jersey, Questions, Weirdness

And That’s How You Were Conceived

WASP mom to her two pre-teen kids: Your father got fucked in the ass.

Micawber Books
Princeton, New Jersey

Overheard by: office peon

Posted on March 26, 2020
Backdoor, Gossip, Moms, New Jersey, Parenting

Gay Men Can’t Drink Coffee? That’s Crazy.

Crazy homeless lady to well-dressed businessman: Look at you with the coffee, you faggot, you just love dick in your ass!

Starbucks
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: trying to avoid her wrath

Posted on December 30, 2019
Ass, Backdoor, Bag ladies, Bars & Clubs, Character, Crazies, Default, Etiquette, Insults, Penis, San Francisco

You Won't Feel a Thing, I Promise

Long-nosed cute blond girl: So you're basically offering to fuck me in the arse?
Drunk guy: Not in the arse per se, but I can't guarantee that I won't get the wrong hole and just go for it.
Long-nosed cute blond girl: You do know we just met five minutes ago?
Drunk guy: What can I say? I work fast.

Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep