Dude: So, what is this? Like, an energy drink, too?
Barista: Nah, it’s just a soda.
Dude: Hmmm, white grape juice, filtered carbonated water… It does have like 22 grams of sugar, but I guess it’s like natural sugar, so it’s not so bad, right?
Barista: I don’t know, it might kill ya!
Dude: Yeah, but I think that things that kill you make you smarter.
Jersey City, New Jersey
Friendly waitress, serious: Would you like to order a happy ending?
Lycoming Mall
Pennsdale, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: DazedinPA
Big and buff male barista to bigger and buffer male customer (excitedly): And then you can bring the tutu!
Maroubra Junction
Sydney
Australia
Jersey Shore fan: Can you put on Jersey Shore? It's the reunion!
Bartender: Sure, I was kind of hoping someone would ask.
Female drinker: Wow, I am going to watch this dumbass show in a bar, is this happening?
Jersey Shore fan: You love it, don't try to lie cause your boys are here.
Bartender: These people are crazy, and that's why we watch.
Bar patron: I cant believe I am watching the reunion show without having seen a full episode. You are right: I cant stop watching this. What the fuck? Is her name J-Lo?
Jersey Shore fan: J… Wow! She is awesome, snookie is my favorite. I wish I could be friends with her.
Bartender: You have enough slutty friends.
Bar
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Earnie Hustleton
Barista #1: So, I had this totally fucked up dream last night. I was, like, having sexual relations with my brother…
Barista #2, totally serious: That’s not weird.
Barista #1: I know, but the weird thing was everyone around me was really uncomfortable with it.
Fort Collins, Colorado
Overheard by: I’m uncomfortable even hearing it
Waiter, about female patron: Mmm. So hot. I just want to pump her full of babies!
Seattle, Washington
Barista #1: He expects me to work from, like, nine to five all next week!
Barista #2: What?! That’s like a job!
Starbucks
Virginia
Overheard by: Person with a job
Waitress: Are you going to celebrate Thanksgiving tonight?
Woman with thick Canadian accent: Oh, no, we're going to go home and worship Satan, if that's okay with you.
Cracker Barrel
Orlando, Florida
Waiter: How were the balls?
Blonde: Well, they were filling.
Cheesecake Factory
Providence, Rhode Island
Overheard by: Mallory
Old woman at restaurant: What do you have to drink?
Exasperated waitress: Everything except root beer and chocolate milk.
New Brunswick, Canadia
