Black woman #1: When is the silicon going to dry?
Black woman #2: It’s in bags. In my boobs. Dumb bitch.
–2 Train
Overheard by: Lacy
Archive for the ‘Boob Job’ Category
Yeah, What’s More Natural Than Caulk?
Woman #1: I’m getting my breasts done again next week.
Woman #2: Oh, really?
Woman #1: Yeah, I’m going to go with silicone this time… It’s so natural.
Woman #2: Oh, I know what you mean…
–Restroom, 53rd & 3rd
Overheard by: in the stall
Doctor’s Gonna Put ’em on Her Back
Man #1: I’m thinking of buying boobs for my wife for her birthday.
Man #2: Oh really? That’s great.
–38th & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Victoria e.
The Nipples Tasted Like Raisins
Blonde: I had to spend 10,000 fucking dollars to get my boobs fixed. They were, like, all puckered and withered.
–43rd and Madison
Like Squeezing a Stress Doll
Bouncer: Nice. Are those real?
Hottie: What do you think?
Bouncer: Can I check?
Hottie: You can poke at ’em, just don’t feel them up.
He does so.
Bouncer: You can tell that they’re fake.
Hottie: Well, they’re bigger than they used to be.
–Club Spirit, Chelsea
Overheard by: Johnny Envelope
Men Are Simple Creatures and Easily Swayed
Middle-aged lady #1: Ewww, she’s not even sexy.
Middle-aged lady #2: Well, she’s engaged, so someone must find her sexy.
Middle-aged man: That’s probably because she has fake boobs.
–Staten Island Ferry terminal
Overheard by: Yvie B
A Nice Set of Wednesday One-Liners
Modest hoochie: Yeah, I can always tell if a guy’s a fag or not by whether he checks out my tits.
–Penn Station
Teenage girl: That’s ’cause Puerto Ricans come up to you and be like, “Hey, Mami, lookin’ hot,” but Dominicans come up to you and be like, “Yo, Mami, you got nice tits!”
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: erlinflask
Woman in tight shirt: I just know, you know, that at some point I’m going to have saggy boobs.
–Ave A between 5th & 6th
Overheard by: Nathan
Guy: I contend that if you’re going to allow someone to breast-feed in a public place, then I should be allowed to stare.
–Wd~50, Clinton St
Overheard by: Evan
Toothless Brooklynite: I’m sayin’ she used to have some good pussy and some big ole titties. I’m talking double E‑E’s. And she went to the doctor and had them cut off. Her titties was cut off!
–A train
Overheard by: The Law Professor
Teen girl to mother: Maybe I’ll do that. Or maybe I’ll just give myself a boob job with a rusty butter knife and water balloons!
–N train
Guy: Well, it’s not like you can’t say you’ve never had your bosom in somebody’s elbow before.
–Stage door, Eugene O’Neill Theatre, West 49th St
Booby Trap
Guy: Hottest piece of ass I’ve ever seen.
Girl: She is beautiful, huh?
Guy: Yeah.
Girl: So you think they’re real?
Guy: I dunno.
Girl: I think they’re natural.
–Houston & Lafayette
Melonsday Jug-Liners
Middle-aged theatrical man, watching summer crowds: Ah! Manhattan in the summer… The hypnotic sway of the unfettered breast…
–Rockefeller Center
Woman on cell to friend: If I have hips this big and I haven’t even had a kid, I’m getting boobs. I just want a nice round c cup!
–14th St & 10th ave
Overheard by: adam
Girl to boyfriend, after putting cell phone in her jacket: Yeah… That’s not a pocket, that’s my tit.
–L Train
Overheard by: TR
Guy on cell phone: What’s up, biscuit-tits?
–21st St & 5th Ave
Overheard by: Steve
16-year-old girl to buxom pal: Your breasts are a personal attack on me!
–F Train
Overheard by: wish i was being attacked
The iTouch App We’ve All Been Waiting for
Blonde #1: I just got my boobs done!
Blonde #2: Oh, wow! They’re so cute!
Blonde #1: They don’t look too big or rock hard, do they? They hurt so much, I feel like a damn porn star!
Blonde #2: No, they look awesome!
Blonde #1: Wanna feel them?
Blonde #2: (squeezes friend’s boobs)
–Apple Store, 14th St
Overheard by: Susie
