Bottoms Up, Wednesday One-Liners!

College guy to girl: I hope you don't mind; I traded your vodka for butt sex.

–Columbia University

Guy on cell: I'm sorry, man! I would have called you, but I figured you were busy… Like, in someone's ass.

–Westside Market

Young woman working behind bar: I totally love to give head and get fucked in the ass at the same time.

–Crown Heights

Overheard by: montana

Black man on bike, yelling into phone: I don't care! Butt sex is part of life for a nigga, dude!

–30th Ave & Broadway, Astoria

Overheard by: Russell in Astoria

Black suit to vendor, cheerfully: Gimme your girlfriend, I'll fuck her in the ass!

–Broadway & 32nd

Overheard by: erkala