Teen Girl to friend: I’d much rather he got turned on by his two friends than a Broadway show. I mean, how *gay* would that be?
–Boardwalk, Brighton Beach
Archive for the ‘Broadway Shows’ Category
Wednesday One-Liners Say the Neon Lights Are Bright
Guy: Now, you know I want Tarzan the Musical to be a giant flop, but…
–54th & Broadway
Ghetto teen, watching Sutton Foster sing “You’ve Got Possibilities” from It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s Superman!, the musical: Maybe these crackers be famous, but it’s Broadway. This shit sucks.
–Central Park
Overheard by: warren freeman
Tourist chick, on cell: On Wednesday, we’re going to see The Directors…The Directors…The Directors. C’mon, you know, The Directors! Oh, I mean The Producers!
–Sidestreet Saloon, Staten Island
Overheard by: Johnny Drongo
Give Me Some Head with Hair?
Tourist to woman handing out fans promoting Hair: What is this?
Woman: It’s, you know, a fan. So you can blow yourself.
–Broadway & 46th
Overheard by: Dain
Cue the Least Romantic Song Ever
Thug #1: Kelly Bundy’s dancing on Broadway.
Thug #2: She naked?
Thug #1: She broke both her legs. I think she in a wheelchair.
Thug #2: She naked?
Thug #1: I bet she dance good. She hot.
Thug #2: I’d break her clit if I had the chance.
–F train
Girl: If I hear another show tune out of context I think I’m going to vomit. Physically vomit. You know that feeling?
Guy: Uh, no.
–42nd between 9th & 10th
That Sharks Jacket Looks Awful Threadbare
Hobo: Hey, ya got any change?
Dude: Um…nope, sorry.
Hobo: OK, I’m sorry about West Side Story; let’s still be friends.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Slick Mcfavourite
Just As Well – I Heard That Show Was Floundering
Woman #1: You should have seen it, over at The Little Mermaid, there were all these kids outside, just bawling.
Woman #2: Really? Is it that bad?
Man: No, they couldn’t get in. Stagehands’ strike.
Woman #2: Oh.
–Parking Garage, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Duncan Pflaster
Wednesday One-Liners Get a Hoboner
Hobo: I am homeless and ashy. Can anyone spare some lotion? I want to go from ashy to classy.
–A Train
Overheard by: SBroto
Hobo: If looks could kill I’d be dead. Kind words don’t hurt nobody. I give sandwiches.
–Shuttle to Grand Central
Overheard by: alan b hutscar
Panhandler, holding top hat overflowing with bills: And take your newspapers and personal belongings with you, I got company comin’ over tonight!
–4 Train
Overheard by: Anthony LoDuca
Hobo: You think anyone ever went to Harvard and forgot about it?
–Central Park
Hobo, near no tripping hazards or holes: Watch your step! Don’t fall! Look where you’re going! Don’t fall down!
–4th & Broadway
Singing hobo: I’m gonna be on Broadway! You’re all invited! I don’t care what you look like. Even you! (points to random man)
–1 Train
Wednesday One-Liners Get Swept Away in Masses Of Humanity
Tourist: Hey look, it’s 42nd Street! They named it after a Broadway show.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Really? REALLY!?!
Tourist dad, as shuttle to Grand Central comes in: No! We need to take the purple to Grand Central Station, then the green!
–Times Square Shuttle Platform
Overheard by: D‑Law
Male tourist, watching stranger propose underneath Christmas tree: Hey buddy, did you go to Jared?
–Rockefeller Center
Southern tourist lady, as subway stops: Oh no, I think the train ran out of gas!
–F Train
Overheard by: Matt
Southern tourist: I guess the birds ate all the hands off the statues.
–The Cloisters, Harlem
Overheard by: [email protected]
Wednesday One-Liners Have a Two-Drink Minimum
Flyer guy: Smile, you’re on Broadway! (singing) You’re never fully dressed…when you’re naked! (stops singing) So come to New York’s best improvisational comedy club! Be there, or be someplace else!
–Times Square
Overheard by: gregumsdagreggy
Annoying man outside comedy club, to passerby: Do you like stand-up comedy? (passerby ignores him keeps walking) Do you like free alcohol? (passerby keeps walking) Do you like ignoring me? (passerby turns head and nods)
–Broadway
Overheard by: Wojo
Comedy show ticket salesman to couple: So, what are you two doing tonight…besides each other?
–Broadway & 49th St
Overheard by: Theo
Ticket guy to walking couple: Do you like comedy or do you just do each other? Maybe that’s all you need.
–51st & 8th
Overheard by: PartyByNight
Street vendor: Want to see a comedy show for $10? Free drinks! Cheaper than crack cocaine!
–42nd St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: gradstudent
Comedy club flyer guy: Blah, blah, blah, take my flyer!
–Times Square
Overheard by: No flyer, but props for the delivery
Maybe I Should Tickle You at Strategic Moments
Bimbette during intermission: So, like, I don’t get it.
Friend: I can explain it to you. So, it’s like a farce or something. And it’s, like, based on this British comedy group, Monty Python.
Bimbette: Oh. I thought that was a snake.
–Spamalot show, Schubert Theater
Overheard by: Oh Broadway
