There is a Buddha statue on the counter.
Teen girl #1: Wow, she has weird nipples.
Teen girl #2: I think it’s a guy.
Teen boy: That’s Gandhi. Duh.
–99 cent store, Hylan Boulevard
Overheard by: Stacey Simon
Archive for the ‘Buddha’ Category
Wednesday One-Liners?
Girl: Is it spring that makes the cherry blossoms bloom, or the cherry blossoms that make spring bloom?
–Hunter College cafeteria
Overheard by: Traczie
Tourist chick looking at subway map: Is the Irish pub on here?
–6 train, Grand Central
Overheard by: Dee Phunk
Woman on cell, looking at directions: Numbers go up, right?
–23rd & 6th
Overheard by: V
Tourist girl: Manhattan is an island?! Is it a man-made island?
–N train
Overheard by: Sirius
Chick to friend: What religion is Buddha the king of?
–Central Park
Blonde: Why haven’t they just fixed the economy already?
–L train
Overheard by: widdershawns
Least of All My Roommate’s Audible Masturbation
Chick: So I e‑mailed my building manager to complain about my jerk roommate, and she wrote back that the solution to all my problems is to chant. And she sent me the chant! Listen to this: “Nam yo ho ren ge cho.” And if I do this every day, I’ll be happier, wiser, and in rhythm.
Dude: There are two possibilities here. Either she’s enough of a flake to believe this, or she thinks you’re enough of a flake to believe it.
Chick: None of this is good!
–151st & Broadway
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Isn’t It Time You Talked to Your Kids About Wednesday One-Liners?
Creepster: Hey there… do you like drugs? … How about Gandhi?
–Chambers &and West Broadway
Girl on cell: So I opened the envelope on the train… Yeah it was heroin.
–W 46th Ave
Bum: Excuse me! Hey, hey! Excuse me! Check it out! I am going to smoke crack all fucking night, and there isn’t anything anyone can do about it, because that’s what I’m going to do, I’m going to smoke so much crack!
–West 4th at Washington Square Park
Overheard by: Cory
Guy to hungover girl: Everyday you look more and more like you do heroin.
–Relish Bar & Grill
Preppy dude: I like doing drugs too much to be a Buddhist.
–Arlene’s Grocery
Mom to ten-year-old son: … But that’s like saying heroin is the only drug to try!
–14th St & 9th Ave
Those Who Don’t Remember the Past Are Doomed to Invent It
Girl #1: I got sick today from a eating plum a Hare Krishna gave me. They like…put something on it!
Girl #2: What’s a Hare Krishna?
Girl #3: Oh my god, they are like this cult that John Lennon invented.
–NYU Dining Hall
Overheard by: Isabel
And Like to Listen to Nirvana
Woman #1: Were your parents Buddhists?
Woman #2: No, they just went through some rough times.
–Forest Park, Queens
Think It’s Left Over from the Mongol Invasion?
Hot hipster girl #1: Oh my god, that’s a beautiful Buddhist temple!
Hot hipster girl #2: Umm no, that’s a Chinese restaurant…
Hot hipster girl #1: Oh well, then it must be really authentic.
–Eldridge & Broome
Silly Rabbit, Wednesday One-Liners Are for Kids
Excited little girl to friend: Hey! Wanna see my room? It’s really cool! I got a bed!
–Whole Foods, Tribeca
Three-year-old girl, excitedly pointing at picture on store front: Look mommy, it’s Buddha! It’s Buddha!
–Ave B b/w 3rd & 4th
Overheard by: EVgirl
Young girl to father: Only 1,486 days until I’m 18 and then I can do whatever the heck I want.
–E 78th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Brandon F
4‑year-old girl to father trying to board overcrowded train: Jesus, we should have taken the bus! I told you we should have taken the bus.
–Uptown 4 Train
Overheard by: kdice
Five-year-old son to father who just dropped BlackBerry: What the hell just happened here?
–Great Lawn, Central Park
Four-year-old girl: I’mma hustla! I’mma, I’mma hustla!
–Uptown 1 Train
Overheard by: Nina
Non-sequitur theater
Businessman: It wasn’t the Buddhist philosophy that I objected to. I objected to the fact that they wanted my therapist’s signature.
–Flatiron district
I Had a Long Conversation with One While I Was Shrooming the Other Day
Girl #1: So, like Buddhist worship cows. They feel like they are sacred and don’t eat them, or milk them, or nothing…
Girl #2: Aw, shit! For real?
Girl #1: Yeah, most of them are vegetarians. They don’t eat anything that’s alive, or has a soul, or something… Cause you can be reincarnated into something you can eat.
Girl #2: So what do vegetarians eat?
Girl #1, staring blankly: What?
Girl #2: What do vegetarians eat?
Girl #1: They’re vegetarians! (giggles) Fuck! Vegetables! (rolls eyes, then laughs)
Girl #2, looking oddly: But trees are alive.
–Times Square
Overheard by: Brownsugarwater
