Guy #1: So, I’m thinking about getting circumcised.
Guy #2: Oh, okay then.
–Elevator, 181st St
Overheard by: LSB
Archive for the ‘Circumcision’ Category
Wednesday One-liners: The Next Generation
Thug: I need a girl who’s responsible and don’t got no kids.
–40th & 5th
Dude: Are we talking about the truth now? The truth is that you’re scared that she’s going to take your son away from you!
–27th Street office
Black guy on cell: Yeah, it was actually all right. We were both circumcised.
–Union Square greenmarket
Overheard by: Lisa Ramaci
And They Decided to Go with Beef Instead of Salmon?!
Guy #1: Hey… Ummm, by any chance did you get some sort of invitation in the mail from Jerry and Marcia?
Guy #2: I know! Who the fuck gets their 13-year-old circumcised in front of public masses like that?
–14th & 7th
Add Some Lazer Tag and It’s Scientology
Guy: So I don’t get it…shouldn’t doctors be the ones who do circumcisions?
Girl: Um…they do.
Guy: Well I thought, you know, those guys in the robes with the altar and the ceremony…Oh wait, that’s baptism.
–Times Square
Captain Morgan
Woman: Yeah, you know, my oldest son’s father wasn’t circumcised.
Friend: Really?
Woman: Yeah.
Friend: What’d it taste like?
–12th St & 5th Ave
My Personal Carbon Offset
Bimbette: Well, the human brain weighs 3 lbs.
Friend: So?
Bimbette: So, I’m not really 110. I’m really 107. If you don’t count my brain.
–A Train
So Shut the Fuck Up Already
Girl: Later at night, my tongue gets sore because I’ve been playing with it so much.
–St. Mark’s Place
Mamma Mia, That’s a Spicy Matzoh Ball!
Guy #1: You must be Italian.
Guy #2: Uh…no, I’m Jewish.
Guy #1: Are you sure? You really look Italian.
Guy #2: Of course I’m sure. What do I have to do to prove it to you?
Guy #3: I don’t like where this is going.
–6 Train
Overheard by: Jenya
The City Has Something for Everyone
Large black girl: Damn, elephant dicks is so disgusting! I don’t want no uncircumcised dicks! (to white guy walking by) I know you is circumcised, baby!
White guy (without slowing down): Long and cut.
Large black girl: Damn! I want me a dick like that!
–Outside Veniero’s, 11th St
Overheard by: Just here for coffee
And We Get to Be the Chosen People – Totally Worth It
20-something guy to date: Yeah, I had mine done by a real mohel.
20-something girl, awkwardly: Oh, really?
20-something guy: Yep, the guy’s whole job is to go around chopping off babies’ dicks.
–American Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: dream profession?
