Man in chair, reaching out to accept money: Okay, man…
Other man, handing him money: Damn, man! (looks at his hands) You need a pedicure! Remind me to hook you up!
–The Rides, Coney Island
Overheard by: cracking up
Archive for the ‘Coney Island’ Category
Wednesday One-Liners Regret Listening to Their Biological Clocks
Mother to screaming toddler: Stop it. This is not your day. This is my day. Don’t ruin it.
–Gourmet Garage
Southern woman to son: The WWE pose, just like we practiced in the backyard now.
–NBC Studios
Overheard by: Tracy
Mother yelling at three little well-dressed girls: Do not open that bottle of glitter! Do not! If you know glitter… (holding her arms out making a rainbow sort of gesture) Shit flies!
–Central Park
Overheard by: chellie
Very young mother to four-year-old son: Stop that! If you don’t start behavin’ I’m gonna send you in for the new model!
–R Train
Overheard by: Kait
Ghetto mom to young son running his hand along outside window while walking: Don’t do that! You gonna get germs! Yo’ hand gonna fall off!
–45th b/w 3rd & Lexington
Overheard by: Lili Von Shtupp
Very serious mother: Well, Megatron could beat Optimus because he’s stronger. But Optimus is smarter, so he can outsmart Megatron.
–East Village
Mom holding little boy’s hand: Forget everything you’ve seen today.
–Mermaid Parade, Coney Island Boardwalk
Overheard by: Not forgetting ANYTHING we saw today
Nicole Richie’s Life Is Proceeding As Usual
Guy: I mean, she can come with and dance on the table.
Girl: I wanna see the baby!
–Avenue U & Coney Island Ave
Overheard by: I wanna go where they’re going.
He Wasn’t, Incidentally
Hot girl #1: It’s the guy on the end of the train.
Hot girl #2: Wow. It’s amazing the human body can smell like that and still be alive.
–Coney Island-bound F train
In the Hearts and Minds of Everyone in New York
Girl #1: So he went to Louisiana for college and he was evacuated! I was like, “Ha! You had to leave the country the day you got there!”
Girl #2: State. Louisiana’s a state.
Girl #1: Really? Where is it?
–Boardwalk, Coney Island
Take Me Out to the Hallucination-of-a-Ballgame…
Vendor: Crackerjacks! Crackerjacks!
Very drunk woman: Crackerjacks?! What about LSD??
–Keyspan Park, Coney Island
Overheard by: Jamie
Wednesday One-Liners Have a Freak Flag, and They’re Gonna Fly It
Carnie: Come play Shoot the Freak! What d’ya come to Coney Island for, to swim in dirty water?
–Boardwalk, Coney Island
Overheard by: Jena
Guy: Shut up and never call me again, you freak.
–56th & 13th, Brooklyn
Overheard by: bobby
Peddler: Coney Island Freak Show t‑shirts! It’s the new Gucci!
–Siren Music Fest, Coney Island
Overheard by: Sinestro
In the Sense That I Eat the Oatmeal
Teen girl #1, about nearby Shoot the Freak booth: So, what is it — some kind of set-up or something? Like, it’s not a real freak, right?
Teen girl #2: No, it’s a real guy. Want to go see?
Teen girl #1: No! I’m a Quaker!
–Coney Island
Before AD 1, It Was Burgers Or Nothing
Little girl: Mommy, look at the fishes!
Mother: You know where all these creatures come from?
Girl: Jesus?
Mother: You betcha.
–New York Aquarium, Coney Island
Overheard by: Swear I’m not listening…
Wednesday One-Liners Keep Their Eyes Peeled for Movie Stars
Tourist backpacker with hands on subway doors: Do these open on their own?
–1 Train
Tourist mom to uncool son: Well, that’s what you get for trying to be a hipster!
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: j
Tourist: Holy moly, look at that Olive Garden! It’s huge! I wish I lived here!
(takes a picture of the restaurant)
–Times Square
Obese Midwestern woman to obese Midwestern man: Oooh, Applebee’s… Now I feel at home here!
–Times Square
Southern tourist guy: I thought people in Greenwich Village would look stranger.
–Bleecker Street
Tourist from west coast, after observing the locals for a few innings: You know, Seinfeld makes so much more sense to me now.
–Cheap Seats, Coney Island Cyclones
Overheard by: Kevin Eliasen
