Archive for the ‘Depressed’ Category

I Always Spin a 2, Never Get the Blue Car, and My Peg Always Falls Out.

Hipster: Life is so… boring to me.

–Outside trendy hipster bar

Overheard by: J. Corner

Headline by: RL

· “God: Well, You See Jesus, I’m Kinda Glad You Said That Because…” — Sizzle
· “Obviously Hasn’t Tried the New “Coke Zero”” — Leary Blaine
· “That’s Why God Invented Firearms” — astanhope
· “The Sun Is Hot, Water Is Wet, And, Somewhere, a Hipster Is Bored. More at Eleven.” — map
· “Those Skinny Jeans Will Suffocate You Soon Enough” — Mowgli Allagash
· “Who Ordered the Ennui and Tonic?” — brian brinegar
· “You’re Not Exactly a Fireworks Extravaganza Yourself” — Katie Darling

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

All the World’s a Wednesday and the People Merely One-Liners

Loud angsty teen boy: My life is a tragedy and I’m only in act two!

–LaGuardia High School

Overheard by: He’s no Shakespeare…

Actor: I almost woke up dead this morning. But I don’t have an understudy.

–Gallery Players, Park Slope

Overheard by: Emily B.

Guy: …and grimace could play Mary Magdalene.

–Lincoln Center

Shake Shack patron: It was like Menopause: The musical.

–Madison Square Park

Overheard by: Adam Nathan

Queer on cell: Honey, if you thought Menopause was funny, you are gonna piss yo pants at The Vagina Monologues!

–Walgreens, Union Square

Flyer guy to girl with Rent shirt: Why you gonna go see Rent? Have you seen it yet? The gay guy dies. Woo!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Minerva

Stagehand: Julliard is a school. It’s not like Spamalot.

–Lincoln Center

Overheard by: Emily B.

…Wait– Was That a Sex Joke?

(back door opens and closes, then the bus starts moving)
Obnoxious Hispanic Emo girl: Back doooor! Back doooor!
Bus driver: What the fuck!? Speak up, I don’t have all day!
Obnoxious girl: Back dooooor!
Bus driver: I have a family! I’m tired! I want to go home!
Obnoxious girl: Back doooooooor.
Bus driver: Ladies and gentlemen, our future.


Overheard by: If He’s Dissapointed with this I hope he never walks into one of New York’s public schools

Color-Coordinated Wednesday One-Liners

Hipster on cell: Drunk dialing is the new black. Fuck you. Happy new year.

–House Party, Lorimer St

Overheard by: confabulation Nation

Redhead to friend: I swear we always have orange animals and they’re all called Renae.

–Central Park

Woman to man: There are many things to be sad about. The color of money being green isn’t one of them.

–90th & 1st

Overheard by: Sam

Sad suit: Their yogurt is just too white.

–Outside Pinkberry in Koreatown

Girl: Yeah, my pubes are pink.

–B1 Bus

Overheard by: Robert

Middle aged gay man: Alright! I like colored pens! There, I said it.

–42nd St