Overheard In New York https://overheardinnewyork.com Thu, 29 Jul 2021 21:01:19 +0000 en-US hourly 1 Men Usually Win the Low-Expectations Game https://overheardinnewyork.com/archives/19862.html Thu, 29 Jul 2021 21:01:19 +0000 Woman: Well, I hope they have tables…Man: I hope they have shots. –3rd &

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A Smorgashboard Of Wednesday One-Liners https://overheardinnewyork.com/archives/18672.html Thu, 29 Jul 2021 08:23:20 +0000 Woman to man: I know! I don’t fry anything. I don’t even fry my food anymore. –47th & 6th Overheard by: A very disturbed Newsbunny Old Jewish woman to husband holding restaurant leftovers: It’s a sin to waste that food. You could send it to Israel! –Upper West Side Overheard by: What a waste! Preppy guy: At least *I’m* not the one molesting fictional cereal pitchmen. –Park Slope...

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I’m Demoting You to Provisionally-Exclusive https://overheardinnewyork.com/archives/10506.html Wed, 28 Jul 2021 19:57:25 +0000 20-ish girl: Dammit, why aren’t you coming to my party?20-ish guy: I told you — I have to go to DC that night with my family.20-ish girl: How am I going to show off my terribly attractive boyfriend to all my other less-attractive boyfriends if you’re not going to be there?!

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The City Has a Two-Pack Minimum https://overheardinnewyork.com/archives/14168.html Wed, 28 Jul 2021 07:46:21 +0000 Well-dressed young black guy: Excuse me sir, do you happen to have a cigarette?Surfer guy: Motherfucker, you’re in New York City. Of course I have a cigarette. –13th & Broadway Overheard by: rpk...

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And Why Can’t Fully-Clothed Cousins Take Hot, Wet Photographs of Wallets? https://overheardinnewyork.com/archives/6542.html Tue, 27 Jul 2021 19:35:45 +0000 Girl: I’ll bring my wallet to showers, which is exactly what I did last time!Guy: Hot, hot. What else do you bring to showers?Girl: Clothes? My camera!Guy: Oooh! Wait, are these discussions normal for us? You’re my cousin. –Chinatown Overheard by: Chiyo...

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But Funnily Enough, What Really Set her off was ‘I’m Only With you for the Pussy’ https://overheardinnewyork.com/archives/7133.html Tue, 27 Jul 2021 07:21:57 +0000 Hipster guy: So she said in a few years, she would be ready for children.Hipster girl: So what did you say to her?Hipster guy: I told her in a few years, I would be ready for a puppy, or a houseplant. Or maybe a mountain bike.Hipster girl: That was the wrong answer. –Astoria bound N train Overheard by: sillysocialworker...

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Ummm, I’m the Pilot https://overheardinnewyork.com/archives/12866.html Mon, 26 Jul 2021 18:45:23 +0000 Wife: Honey, she’s the waitress.Annoyed husband: She is not the waitress.Wife: Yes, she is.Annoyed husband: She’s the stewardess. –JetBlue, JFK Overheard by: Jess McGins...

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Slang: The Right Way and the Wrong Ways https://overheardinnewyork.com/archives/2415.html Mon, 26 Jul 2021 06:28:37 +0000 Lady #1: Look at all these kids! I feel so old…I can’t date in this city any more. Lady #2: Are you kidding? Listen, honey, let me tell you…I just finished my starter marriage, and I’ve been dating like crazy! –6 train Overheard by: BBW Girl #1: Look at my new ring! Isn’t it shiny and big? Girl #2: Omigod. When did you get it? Girl #1: Yesterday, my manlover gave it to me. Girl #2: “Manlover”?

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Wednesday One-Liners Are Eating Cat Food https://overheardinnewyork.com/archives/9293.html Sun, 25 Jul 2021 18:13:13 +0000 Newspaper hawker: Close your umbrellas, people! You’re inside! You’re going to poke somebody’s eye out! Then they gonna sue you! Then you gonna be broke! Then you gonna throw yourself down the escalator! –Penn Station Overheard by: Brawd Black guy on cell: Niggas with no money are contagious! –7 train platform, 74th & Broadway Overheard by: Robyn Z Flight attendant: Welcome to New York where the...

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Is This the One Where She Wears a Hat Made of Fruit? https://overheardinnewyork.com/archives/14383.html Sun, 25 Jul 2021 05:50:41 +0000 [Just before the curtain rises on the opera Carmen.]Guy: Do you know the show?Girl: Uh-uh.Guy: It’s sooo sad. Like Rent.Girl: Oooh. Wow.

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