Overheard In New York 2018-12-17T01:28:52Z https://overheardinnewyork.com/feed/atom/ WordPress https://overheardinnewyork.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/cropped-ny-favicon-32x32.png admin <![CDATA[She’s the Cob, and They’re the Cornholders]]> 2018-12-17T01:28:52Z 2018-12-17T01:28:52Z Girl: There’s a Duane Reade.
Guy #1: What do we need a Duane Reade for?
Girl: If we’re gonna do this, you guys both have to be wearing condoms.

–84th & Broadway

Suit #1: But what happens if our cocks accidentally touch?
Suit #2: Well…we’re both adults, we’ll just have to deal with it.

–52nd & Lexington

admin <![CDATA[Hmm, Yours Don’t Drag on the Ground the Way Mine Do]]> 2018-12-16T13:08:55Z 2018-12-16T13:08:55Z Chick #1: So, you transferred to CUNY-Hunter?
Chick #2: Yeah. My last school was making me stupid and drunk, and I can’t be a lawyer like that… Look at you, little big knuckles!

–Q train

admin <![CDATA[I Also Have Too Many Inches for the Ladies]]> 2018-12-16T00:35:29Z 2018-12-16T00:35:29Z Girl #1: Was he a virgin?
Girl #2: Yeah, I think so.
Girl #1: I bet. He totally needed a new haircut.

–Uptown Lounge, 3rd Avenue

admin <![CDATA[Sex With Two Gay Men Sure Won’t Cause Sanity]]> 2018-12-15T12:11:57Z 2018-12-15T12:11:57Z Queer #1: So how is that girlfriend of yours?
Queer #2: What girlfriend?
Queer #1: You know, the one we had the threesome with.
Queer #2: Oh yeah, Constance…oh, she’s crazy.

–Greenwich & Gansevoort

admin <![CDATA[Wednesday One-liners Read in Union Square]]> 2018-12-14T23:57:00Z 2018-12-14T23:57:00Z Stoner: We’re on the verge of a spiritual revolution. It’s like Fight Club…but without the violence.

–Union Square

Overheard by: braun bowery

Guy: The fact that bar was full of ugly girls is just ridiculous.

–Union Square

Crazy lady: Fine, stay where you are, Linda! Stay on the streets, stay in the gutter…but put all your stuff away!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Jen

Woman: If I die of malaria, you can have my DVD player.

–Union Square

Lady on cell: …so what’s the difference between the East Village and the West Village?

–Union Square

Overheard by: feitclub

Guy on cell: I didn’t throw the lamp at you because I was out of control, I threw the lamp at you because you said I was out of control.

–Union Square

Overheard by: John

Guy: Dude! At least you’re getting head. Bad head is better than no head, any day of the week!

–Union Square

Overheard by: Joy Smoker

admin <![CDATA[Here, Feel My Nose]]> 2018-12-14T11:29:57Z 2018-12-14T11:29:57Z Guy #1: Hey, where are you going?
Guy #2: To the vet.
Guy #1: Where?
Guy #2: The veterinarian.
Guy #1: Oh, are you still sick?

–Koronet Pizza

admin <![CDATA[Happens Sophomore Year for Most, But It’s Never Too Late]]> 2018-12-13T23:12:33Z 2018-12-13T23:12:33Z 92-year-old mother-in-law: It’s a two girl wedding?
Daughter-in-law, passing by second reception hall: Yes, two women are having a wedding reception, they got married.
Mother in law, as she studies the two women: Well, that one [Points.] isn’t so bad. she could have gotten a man.
Daughter-in-law: She didn’t want a man. she’s attracted to women.
Mother in law: I never had a chance to try that.
[Then proceeds back and forth to the bathroom several times during reception, to check.]

–Wedding Reception, Essex House

Overheard by: bridesmaid

admin <![CDATA[Who'll Have the Last Laugh When the Messiah Pops Out?]]> 2018-12-13T11:07:45Z 2018-12-13T11:07:45Z Girlfriend: I'm not feeling so good.
Boyfriend: Why? What's wrong?
Girlfriend: I feel queasy and dizzy.
Boyfriend: What if you were pregnant?
Girlfriend: By what? Immaculate conception? Or your finger?

–13th St & 4th Ave

Overheard by: Biscuit-lover

admin <![CDATA[Overheard in Wednesday One-Liner]]> 2018-12-12T22:49:51Z 2018-12-12T22:49:51Z 20-something dude to another: It's so hard to get laid in this city before 11 pm!

–M-15 Bus

Hottie: I am in New York City. You need to make $250,000 to live like a white person.

–28th & 29th

Overheard by: A black person from Chicago

20-something male to female: So you'd better be prepared. It's like the Times Square of New York.

–16th St & Union Square

Overheard by: Annie B

Middle-aged Hispanic dude to Indian salesperson: This is New York City. Nobody's gonna kill you, okay?


Young gay man: That's what I hate about New York City. It's such a fucking small town.

–14th St & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: molls

admin <![CDATA[I Believe He Goes by “Mr. Magic Dragon” Now]]> 2018-12-12T10:28:36Z 2018-12-12T10:28:36Z Foreign girl: How is your puffy friend?
American guy: What?
Foreign girl: You know, the puffy! (hold out her hands to indicate fatness)
American guy: Oh, yeah, he's good.

–89th & 2nd

Overheard by: Tom