Overheard In New York 2017-09-24T02:33:33Z https://overheardinnewyork.com/feed/atom/ WordPress https://overheardinnewyork.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/cropped-ny-favicon-32x32.png admin <![CDATA[If I Said You Had a Wednesday One-Liner, Would You Hold It Against Me?]]> 2017-09-24T02:33:33Z 2017-09-24T02:33:33Z Chick on cell: And he had a tiny little body and a tiny little head, and I was just like, "um, no."

–Equinox Gym, Wall Street

Overheard by: Ladle

Security guard, talking about senior citizens: If they sit around the house all day because they actually can't use their legs, it's fine. But if they can still use their legs and get around, but choose to stay at home, that's no good. No good.

–Museum of Chinese in America

Bar patron to bartender: If you give me a free shot, I'll rub your feet.

–Greenwood Heights

Overheard by: Sunny

Girl to friend: Well you know, it hurts at first… but then it expands. (opens cleched fist with a larger hole) And then it feels like you have a tail!

–Subway Coney Island

Overheard by: Torgrim

admin <![CDATA[Just Remember to Save the Intercourse for Grades]]> 2017-09-23T14:21:17Z 2017-09-23T14:21:17Z Grad student girl: How did your work go today?
Grad student guy: Pretty good. I took some Adderall. God, it helps–it's like crack.
Grad student girl: Oh my god! Really? I'll suck your dick for a pill.
Grad student guy: Damn straight you will.

–Fish Bar, East Village

Overheard by: John-John

admin <![CDATA[You’re Dreaming If You Think They’re Interesting]]> 2017-09-23T01:55:35Z 2017-09-23T01:55:35Z Chick #1: One of my friend’s moms has unholy thoughts about Charlie Rose.
Chick #2: One of my friends has dreams about having sex with her family’s minivan. And not humping the side of it, either. We’re talking full on, riding the stick-shift sex. Hmmm.
Chick #1: We run with an interesting crowd.

–1 train

Overheard by: Djlindee

admin <![CDATA[They Prefer the Term “Mole People”]]> 2017-09-22T13:31:26Z 2017-09-22T13:31:26Z Construction worker #1: Make it look nice for the homeless here!
Construction worker #2: Oh yeah!

–Broadway/Lafayette station

admin <![CDATA[Do You Think a Job Might Help?]]> 2017-09-22T01:15:52Z 2017-09-22T01:15:52Z Mother: You need a job.
20-something daughter: I need an Xbox.


admin <![CDATA[Are You Sure One's Not Just a Teeny Bit More British?]]> 2017-09-21T12:10:00Z 2017-09-21T12:10:00Z Hipster guy: I can never tell the difference between Ralph Fiennes and Raif Fiennes.
Hipster girl: That's because they're the same person.

–W Train

Overheard by: Andrew

admin <![CDATA[Once You Go Blue, You Dunno What to Do]]> 2017-09-20T23:52:22Z 2017-09-20T23:52:22Z Ghetto chick: What the fuck is with all the cops at this station?
Punk chick: I don’t know.
Ghetto chick: I mean I’m fuckin’ one and all but damn, I still don’t like them.

–6 train

Overheard by: tasha

admin <![CDATA[Here's Forest Whitaker to Explain]]> 2017-09-20T11:42:32Z 2017-09-20T11:42:32Z Park Slope mom #1: I'm going to be honest. We have night birds near my house.
Park Slope mom #2: Oh my god! Us too! I tried to report it!
Park Slope mom #1: Why are these birds chirping at night? Don't they need to sleep?

–Park Slope

Overheard by: D-Law

admin <![CDATA[The Supersizing Of Wednesday One-Liners]]> 2017-09-19T23:33:40Z 2017-09-19T23:33:40Z Obese woman to another (each wearing skin tight leggings and tank tops): Gurrrll, you know you wrong! You not fat. Don'tcha know that the mirror makes you look heavier?

–Inwood, 207th St

Overheard by: cat the great

Woman on cell: She looks awful. Why is she so fat?

–Tompkins Square Dog Park

Overheard by: dogsitting

Large man outside hotel to bus driver: I'm big, but I'm lazy. If you're big and you lazy, you're just lazy.

–8th Ave & 50th St

Overheard by: Nicole

Obese woman: I just want a cheeseburger the size of my ass right now.

–Q Train

Overheard by: Jon A.

Over-sunscreened man, crossing street: I'm getting fat! I'm eating too much and I don't like it!

–72nd & Amsterdam

admin <![CDATA[Who Let the Wednesday One-Liners Out?]]> 2017-09-19T11:19:46Z 2017-09-19T11:19:46Z Clerk: Man, people stink. That’s why I’m saying, ‘You want a friend, get a dog. Name it Chico. Only thing Chico won’t do for you is open his own can of dog food.’

–Duane Reade

Black guy to friend: Man, what you gotta do is you gotta go down to the dog track and get it poppin’ with those extreme titties!

–Bar, 5th Ave, Park Slope

Happy hobo: I’m in Manhattan! I’m walkin’ down Prince Street! Hey, now I’m crossin’ Sullivan! Uh-oh, time to make a sound like a dog — woof! Woof! Woof!


White girl on cell: DMX got in trouble for fighting dogs too? No, of course I didn’t know that. Where the fuck would you get the idea that I know what DMX does with his spare time?

–114th & Broadway

JAP: I never told her the dog licked her vibrator.

–Coffee shop, Union Square