Overheard In New York https://overheardinnewyork.com Sun, 27 Sep 2020 18:55:03 +0000 en-US hourly 1 He Should’ve Joined the Army https://overheardinnewyork.com/archives/4967.html Sun, 27 Sep 2020 18:55:03 +0000 Guy #1: Don’t throw away that Gatorade bottle! I gotta do something. Guy #2: …Right now? Guy #1: Yeah! Guy #2: There’s a pizza place right there! Guy #1: They won’t let me use theirs! Don’t you throw that bottle away! –25th &

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The Art of Conversation Has Died with the Rise of the iPod https://overheardinnewyork.com/archives/15950.html Sun, 27 Sep 2020 06:44:06 +0000 White guy #1: I was listening to Celia Cruz.Spanish guy: Yeah, I’ve been to Santa Cruz.White guy #2: What? Santa Claus? –48th &

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I Don’t Recommend Asking for That, Though https://overheardinnewyork.com/archives/9600.html Sat, 26 Sep 2020 17:44:17 +0000 Woman #1: I’m so going to get pregnant this year so I can have a tummy tuck done cheaper.Woman #2: Fuck that. Go to Vietnam. They do liposuction for, like, five bucks. They call it ‘five dollar sucky sucky.’ –6th Ave, West Side Overheard by: Raychel...

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Soon They’ll Be in the Brooklyn https://overheardinnewyork.com/archives/13395.html Sat, 26 Sep 2020 05:17:57 +0000 Tourist #1: Something’s wrong. We’re already at 36th Street, and we were supposed to get off at 49th.Tourist #2: We’re not in Manhattan yet, stupid.Tourist #1: Oh, right, we’re still in Bronx! –R train, 36th St, Brooklyn Overheard by...

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Even Though They Inhabit Different Fictional Universes? https://overheardinnewyork.com/archives/20348.html Fri, 25 Sep 2020 16:59:51 +0000 Ditz #1: So yeah, I think Jesus was totally a mongoose soul.Ditz #2: Totally. And Harry Potter, too.(they nod together) –F Train Overheard by: Numbat...

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In the Realm of the Faceless, the Ugly Girl Is Queen https://overheardinnewyork.com/archives/14041.html Fri, 25 Sep 2020 04:30:25 +0000 Schoolgirl #1: You know that girl in our global class?Schoolgirl #2: The one with the face.Schoolgirl #1: Yeah! –Outside of Murry Bergatrum High School...

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Maybe Suit Needs a Mom, Too https://overheardinnewyork.com/archives/3901.html Thu, 24 Sep 2020 16:24:25 +0000 Chick: Mine is the one that’s not a dead animal. Mom: The dead animal is mine…Actually, it’s many animals. Many vicious animals. They deserved to die, to keep me warm! –ViceVersa, West 51st Street Overheard by: Mic Cruz...

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He Got Down on One Knee and Offered Me a Cock-Ring https://overheardinnewyork.com/archives/14022.html Thu, 24 Sep 2020 03:59:32 +0000 New Yorker: So, having a romantic evening in New York?Tourist: Yeah… I went sex toy shopping last night. –Columbia University Overheard by: laughing awkwardly...

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As the Dodgers Said in 1957 https://overheardinnewyork.com/archives/21338.html Wed, 23 Sep 2020 15:13:25 +0000 Guy #1: (howls like an animal)Guy #2: (makes owl noise and starts hooting)Group of people, including guys #1 and #2: (all start making animal calls, screams, hoots etc)Man #1 on train: Shut the fuck up!Group of howlers: (sporadically throws in more animal noises and then profusely thanks the glaring audience as they exit train)Man#2 on train: At least they’re someone else’s problem now.Man#

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You Aren’t Being Served https://overheardinnewyork.com/archives/2535.html Wed, 23 Sep 2020 02:32:28 +0000 Arts Club guy: Hello, young woman! How may I help you? Shaved head woman: Uh…can we get some drinks? Arts Club guy: This is a private club. We’re closed. Shaved head woman: Well, I am a member. Arts Club guy: If you were a member, you would know that we were closed. –National Arts Club, Gramercy Park South Overheard by: Olivia + Will Halman...

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