Overheard In New York

Archive for the ‘Fighting and ass kicking’ Category

Not in the Face, Wednesday One-Liners

Girl on cell: You keep talking over me – it makes me want to punch you in the uterus.

–Ray’s Pizza, 52 & 8th

Overheard by: Jarett

Guy to friend: You keep referring to me as “that guy” and we’ll see how long you stay conscious.

–33rd & 7th

Nervous man seated against the wall: I don’t like this seat. I don’t like sitting here. I like to sit on the aisle. What if there’s a fight? I don’t want to be trapped in a place with a fight.

–Off-Broadway Theatre

Overheard by: Hannah

Ghetto chick: Can’t you get somebody else to fuck him up? Why you gotta do it?

–W Train

Overheard by: sara n.

Man: He was trying to turn his alcoholism into a positive thing instead of attacking the guy who raped his sister.

–The Strand Bookstore

Overheard by: Slightly confused, yet intrigued…

Girl on cell: Remember that time you got into a fight with an inch worm?

–Chambers St

Overheard by: Shooty

Wednesday One-Liners Did Coke in the ’80s

Young lady yuppie on cell: It is a perfectly normal fear to be afraid of bubbles!

–83rd & Broadway

Overheard by: KS

Yuppie chick holding hands with yuppie boyfriend: Penis, penis, penis, penis.

–Astor Place

Overheard by: sarah

Yuppie chick on cell: The thing about my ex is it’s, like, the story of ‘If you give a mouse a fucking cookie, I mean, eventually he’ll want to climb into bed with you and have you read him a fucking bedtime story.’

–Rector St

Yuppie: Let’s go find my ex-fiance and beat her up.

–46th & 8th

Confirmed: Biological Terrorism Hits New York

My guy friend and I stopped on the sidewalk to finish up a conversation and say goodbye. A man walks by and gave a hard shoulder nudge to my friend and kept walking. 

Guy friend: Yeah, excuse me!
Man: You stopped in the middle of the sidewalk. You can’t stop in the middle of the sidewalk; people need to get by. 

An argument ensues, then the man walks away. He changes his mind, walks back and gets within inches of my friend’s face. 

Man: I have a cold and I’m going to talk right in your face! 

–Broadway & Fulton 

Overheard by: Jessie