Overheard In New York

Archive for the ‘Flyer people’ Category

I’m Too Sexy for My Wednesday One-Liners.

Comedian guy with flyer: Girl, you have some sexy nostrils!

–Broadway

Gay man to another: Next Halloween I am going to be a sexy tub of lard.

–Broadway & Spring

20-something hot girl on cell: So, like, Kristin was supposed to go as a water-boarding torture victim, which is hilarious, but then, she like, um, shows up as a *sexy* water-boarding torture victim, which is better than being, like, all gross and frumpy. But come on… that’s not funny.

–Q Train

Creepy old man: When I was was a kid… Coney Island was hot! I mean “sexy.” I mean it was… Bam!

–Neptune Ave

Overheard by: taylor

Girl on cell: It’s really not like a sexy stabbing.

–Centre St

Wednesday One-Liners from H‑E Double Hockey Sticks

Guy looking at books, to no one in particular: I don’t want to hear or see anything about the devil, demons, voodoo or big hairy black guys.

–Barnes & Noble

Overheard by: 153

Guy hawking pamphlets: How to sucker punch the devil right in the ass!

–W 12th & Brodway

Overheard by: Why didn’t I get that pamphlet?!

Coworker about colleague: Every time he comes by here the number 666 comes up.

–1250 Broadway

Punk kid, walking past a group of nuns: Hail Satan!

–Waverly & Greene

Professor: I don’t want to be saved, I want to go to hell. I’ll meet interesting people there!

–Cooper Union, Astor Place

Overheard by: Hopefully not me!

Crazy older lady screaming on cell: You what? You are buying soda? You are going to go to fucking hell! Don’t you remember the promise you made to god? You’re probably standing in line with some goddamn candy too. You are going to hell!

–W Train

Overheard by: DR G LUV

PETA-Approved Wednesday One-Liners

HS boy to two friends: Dude, you’d be surprised how many vegetarians are into meaty chicks.

–E train

Man eating salad: Vegetarians should be evolutionarily punished.

–Small diner, Chinatown

Girl to friend: Hey, do you think that the reason he doesn’t like oral sex is because he’s vegan? [Friend is silent.] Yeah, I’m pretty sure that’s it.

–112th, between Broadway & Amsterdam

Overheard by: Gigi

Cougar dining with pals: I’m an animal-lover, so I’m going to get the fish.

–Rue 57, 57th & 6th

Crazy woman: Vegetarians have better sex!

–F/V train stop, Houston & 1st Ave

Overheard by: So, no hot beef injection?

Woman handing out leaflets for veganism: Come on, come on! Vegans have better sex! No, really — try me!

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: What is she trying to sell here?

Get Outta His Way When He Finds Out the Truth about Santa…

Guy with fliers: Psychic readings! Only 10 dollars! Psychic readings!
Realist: Yo man, if that bitch knows where the money at, why don’t she go get it herself?
Guy, dropping fliers: Word! I’m going to go ask that bitch now!

–Union Square

Headline by: Allison

Runners-Up:

· “He’s a regular Nostra-Dumbass” — Smellface

· “I see dead presidents!” — The Amazing Gotcharocksoff

· “Miss Cleo: Your First Card Is Sucker, The 3 Of Sheisters” — the ace of spades

· “That Takes a Pair of Crystal Balls.” — DanK

· “We ALL saw that coming” — JP

· “While You’re There, Ask Her Where The Leprechaun At” — wookie


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