Gangsta Chick: Oh my god, guys, look at him!
Guy #1: What?
Guy #2: What’s he doing with your mirror?
Stoned Guy: I’m on tv! (manic laugh)
–B64 Bus
Overheard by: Ben
Archive for the ‘Gangstas’ Category
Wednesday One-Liners Say “Toro, Toro, Taxi!”
Little girl to father, about pedestrian sign: But I don’t want to be a pedestrian! I want to be famous!
–17th & Irving
(pedestrians are crossing when they aren’t supposed to. One almost gets hit by a taxi)
Female traffic cop to taxi driver: Next time, just go ahead and run them over.
–Columbus Circle
Overheard by: momes
Homeless man directing traffic in middle of street: I killed 20,000 people, I ain’t afraid of no car! I killed 20,000 people, I ain’t afraid of no car!
–Jerry Orbach St
Gangster walking in front of Range Rover: Fuck it, if I’ma getting hit by a car, I’ma getting hit by a nice car.
–Broadway & Houston
Tourist driving car: I don’t give a fuck if you own the world! I’m running your ass over!
–Financial District
Overheard by: lex
Ahem –That’s “Womyn”
Gangsta #1: … And then these bitches…
Gangsta #2: Wo-men. Nigga, they’re women!
–26th & 8th
Depends– Will You Eat It Wearing That Shirt?
Ghetto guy #1: Yo man, you know what I want right now?
Ghetto guy #2: Pussy?
Ghetto guy #1: Naw man, one of those falafels.
Ghetto guy #2: Not pussy?
Ghetto guy #1, lifting hands up like scale: Man, falafel. Pussy. Pussy. Falafel. I’d take that falafel any day. (pause) Does that make me gay?
–Q Train
…Once I Get Past My Musical Gag Reflex
Brotha #1, rocking out to Taylor Swift on iPhone: Why do you even have this on your phone?
Brotha #2: Cuz I’m gonna marry a white girl, that’s why.
–2 Train
Now, Just Sign this Confession, and We Can Get the Plea-Bargain Started
Ghetto guy #1: Where were you?
Ghetto guy #2: I had to go sign some autographs.
–Marillac Hall, St. John’s University
That Was a Request, Not a Complaint
Guy #1: Yo B., let’s cross here.
Guy #2: Did you just call me Babe?
Guy #1: No, niggah, I called you B.! You outta your fuckin’ mind?
–Spring & W. Broadway
Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One
Gangsta to friend: Yeah, so, she started jerkin’ him off and instead of cum, man, it was blood!
Friend: Oh shit, nigga!
Gangsta: And then she got one of those knife sharpeners.
Friend: Fuck!
–189th & Belmont
Is It Too Late to Give You a Puzzle?
Teen ghetto girl: If you had a daughter…
Teen ghetto boy: If I had a daughter, there ain’t no way she’d be leavin’ the house with them short shorts and shit. And she fo’ sho’ wouldn’t be playin’ with them barbies. Barbies is evil. They mess with girls’ brains, makin’ them think they need to show off their shit and have babies when theys like 15. No barbies. Only puzzles.
–Manhattan bound N train
Overheard by: lauren
That Makes Brokeback Seem Gangsta
Guy #1: I’m a gangsta. And gangsta people see gangsta movies. You go see that Hong Kong, King Kong or whatever.
Guy #2: What about In The Mix?
–AMC Empire 25, West 42nd Street
Overheard by: Nathaniel Taylor
