Girls

Girl: Yeah, like, the day after I got back I was on St. Laurent Street and I saw a used condom on the sidewalk. It was like the city was saying, ‘Welcome home!’

Montreal
Canadia

Semi-drunk girl in pub crawl attire: I hate Windex, but I fuckin' love Febreze!

Toronto
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: History Major

Bimbette, pointing to Che Guevara t-shirt: Jose Cuervo!

Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: SP

Girl: Sorry about the chafing. My butt still hurts when I poo.
Boy: [Makes sad face.]Girl: From your surprise. I don’t like your surprises.
Boy: It surprised me too!

Boston, Massachusetts

Granddaughter: Is it wet?
Grandmother: Oh, believe me. It's wet.

Waco, Texas

Overheard by: I need to get whatever they're using.

Girl with fake sword to group of fifty kids with fake swords (prepping them before their war in the park): Today is not about living, today is about dying. You will die at least 100 times today. And you will love it!

Clark Park
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: afraid of kids

Girl on cell: I just heard the most epic pickup line. Like, if Homer had known this pickup line it would have been all over The Odyssey.

Northwestern University
Illinois

Boyfriend to gas station attendant: She slept with the entire football team in high school.
Girlfriend: Maybe, but I still wouldn’t have slept with you.
Boyfriend: Yeah? Really? How’s your butt feel? Ha! I haven’t even told my friends about that yet!

Richmond, Virginia

Girl: I wonder why there are so many Japanese restaurants around here?
Guy: Probably because there are a lot of Mexican people living in this town.

Very Little Town
North Carolina

Little girl: Mom, what’s a prostitute?
Mother, nervous: Uh, a woman who does extreme cuddling for money.
Little girl: Extreme cuddling X Games?!

Denver, Colorado