Glad the condom broke

Woman: If anyone ever hurts you tell them to stop that, because it’s not nice.
Little girl: And then you kick them in the face!

Upper Hutt
New Zealand

Overheard by: Sarah

Female: What are you gonna be for Halloween?
Child: Al Capone.
Female: But you're Al Capone every day.

Memphis, Tennessee

Little girl with mother: My birthday’s coming up soon, so I don’t want to get anything for me.
Woman in opposite aisle: There is no way that child is human.

CVS
Houston, Texas

Little girl: The show will now begin. Please sit down and turn off your vibrators!

Barnes and Noble
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Pretty sure she’s been to the theater before

Mom: But, honey, it’s important that you look nice when you go to school and that everything matches.
Six-year-old girl: Mom, it’s not how I look that’s important — it’s about my education.

Wethersfield, Connecticut

Overheard by: too cute!

Seven-year-old boy: Jonas Brothers! The Jonas Brothers can suck my ass!

Borders
Austin, Texas

Overheard by: Amy D

Mother: Don’t talk now, honey. Concentrate.
Little girl: Concentrate on the poo! Concentrate on the poo!

Bathroom, Newark Int’l Airport
Newark, New Jersey

Toddler: Do you want a piece of me? Do you want a piece of me?
Father: Are you talking to me?
Toddler: Do you want a piece of me?
Father: No, that’s okay.

Chicago, Illinois

Little girl to mother, pointing at a picture of Ronald McDonald: Look, Mommy — they put lipstick on George Washington!

McDonald’s
Jackson, New Jersey

Overheard by: Lydia

Little girl: Why did she get remarried? Did she forget?

Alaska