Dude: Hi, I’m looking for the World Trade Center.
Cop: Uhhh, yeah… You need to go to Manhattan.
–Ferry Terminal, Staten Island
Overheard by: Ghost Rock It
Archive for the ‘Ground Zero’ Category
It’s Even Hard for Grownups to Grasp
Obese black woman, explaining 9⁄11 to seven-year-old daughter: We talk about this every day, honey. The ending’s not gonna change.
Daughter: They put up the flag up after? Didn’t it get dirty?
Obese black woman: Well, they kinda had more important things to deal with. They didn’t have a washing machine there.
–R Train
Overheard by: Jon A.
At Least She’s Reading
Ghetto chick: Excuse me! Excuse me! What’s the name of the towers that got knocked down?
Incredulous passerby: Umm … The World Trade Center.
Ghetto chick to thug boyfriend: See! I told you it wasn’t none of that twin towers. You thinking of Lord of the Rings.
–Vesey St
Wednesday One-Liners Have Trouble Re-Folding the Map
New Yorker: …and then the tourists paused near the construction of the New York Times’ new building, and one, who was I guess their leader, pointed to it and said, “Everyone, that’s Ground Zero.”
–26th & Park
Tourist: And this is H Street. So we’ll be in SoHo next.
–Houston Street
Tourist girl: Oh, look! I think that’s Times Square!
–Broadway & Houston
Overheard by: Sumitra
Woman on cell: No, I can’t. I’m in the Times Square area right now.
–Canal & Baxter
Overheard by: Steph J.
Dude: Excuse me, is this Times Square?
–Times Square
Overheard by: Dumbfounded
Teenage girl: Does this train go to Manhattan?
–Times Square, waiting for the downtown C train
Overheard by: Courtney
Tourist: Wait, are we in Manhattan or just New York?
–Times Square
Overheard by: betsy
Australian hipster: Could you tell me how to get back to Manhattan?
–112th & Broadway
It’s All Greek to Me
Businessguy: It’s a small world.
Businesschick: Especially in Astoria!
Businessguy: Ha, ha, ha!
Businesschick: Hee, hee.
–Midtown office
Sadly Not Beyond the Realm of Possibility
Kid presses call button on commuter hotline phone.
Father: Why did you do that?
Son: I’m sorry. I didn’t know what it was.
Father: If you do that again the police will arrest you.
Son: Really?
Father: Yes, George Bush will come and take you to jail.
Son: What?
Father: He will kill you and put your picture on the Wall of Memories [Ground Zero feature].
–World Trade Center PATH station
The Decency Was Good While It Lasted
Girl: What is all that screaming ahead?
Guy: Maybe they are doing a reenactment of September 11th.
–Ground Zero
Overheard by: A A F
Tourist woman: Where is the World Trade Center?
New Yorker guy: You missed it.
–Chambers and W. Broadway
Overheard by: tom brigham
Wednesday One-Liners Aren’t a Tourist Attraction, Assholes
Chick to friend, standing silently for several minutes: You know, there really isn’t that much to see here.
–Ground Zero
Woman on cell: What about the Christmas cards with the twin towers surrounded by flowers? … Yeah. Kinda grim, huh?
–Barnes & Noble, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Karyn Regal
Wannabe-hardcore bimbette: So, this is where it all went down, huh? Where the shit hit the fan…
–PATH station, WTC
Overheard by: WesTexMike
Tourist man to MTA lady: I want to go to that World Trade Center thing.
–14th St station
Tourist: Is this nine-eleven?
–Ground Zero
Overheard by: duplicity
Wednesday One-Liners Have Lost Their Group
Teenage boy tourist: Times Square is by far the coolest part of New York. It’s almost like heaven!
–Times Square
A tourist is craning his neck to photograph the Empire State Building.
New Yorker: What is he looking at?! … Oh.
–34th & 5th
Tourist: There isn’t anywhere within walking distance.
–53rd & Lex
Overheard by: Not a Clueless Tourist
Hobo, after stealing someone’s luggage: Tourists need to be more careful when they come to New York City.
–6th Ave & 23rd St
Overheard by: BOB Sled
Tourist dropping money in front of frozen female mime he’s been staring at for five minutes: That was truly incredible. Thank you so much.
–Outside MoMA
Tourist: I guess we should go to the Ground Zeroes.
–5th Ave & 13th St
Overheard by: Sally Tomato
Thug: Just push them out of the way. They’re tourists, they’ll love it.
–Times Square
Overheard by: duffduff
And Be Eaten by Hippies from Minnesota
Fire truck loudspeaker to tourists blocking entrance: Please clear the area unless you want to end up as roadkill.
–WTC Site, Liberty Street
