Overheard In New York

Archive for the ‘Hugs’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners, Not Drugs

Muscle man to another: You have to hug me more!

–18th & 6th

Overheard by: Joe Fenton

Hobo: I won’t hug you if you give me money.

–6 train

Overheard by: Gabrielle

Little tourist girl, arms outstretched: Mommy, I just want to hug New York!

–49th, between 6th & 7th

Overheard by: Scarfish

Lesbo on cell: I just hugged a man. I don’t even know him!

–Christopher St

Overheard by: Jericho n’ drop

Panhandler: If you don’t have money and you’re fairly attractive, give me a hug and we’ll call it even.

–F train

Other Parts Of My Body Would Love a Hug, Though.

Hippie girl: Free hugs! We’re giving out free hugs today! (to preppy guy on park bench) Hey! Would you like a free hug today?
Guy: No, thank you.
Hippie girl: Why not?
Guy: Actually, I just had a minor surgical procedure on my abdomen. I shouldn’t hug anyone until it heals.
Hippie girl: Well, that sucks. A hug might make you feel better, though!
Guy: I’m pretty sure that a hug would open up the incision on my abdomen from the surgical procedure. I’m told this would increase my odds of infection. Thanks anyway, though.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Double‑M

Tyler Perry Knows All About Stupid

Comedy show guy: Comedy! You already spent money on the plane ticket to come to this stupid place, you might as well have some fun while you’re here. We have black people and fried shit. Ma’am, do you want to see a comedy show?
Large black woman: No.
Comedy show guy: Why not? Are you “different”?
Large black woman: No, I live here, so I already know everything is stupid. Including your show.
Comedy show guy:: Give me a hug. That was awesome.

–46th & Broadway

Overheard by: Wes

Wednesday One-Liners? Please Hold.

Guy on cell: I’m gonna come over and give you a big hug before doomsday.

–Outside NYU Dorm

Guy holding up drunk friend: I have to hug the fat kid?! Why don’t you try hugging a fat kid?

–LIRR, Penn Station

Overheard by: Laura

Hobo to startled girl: If you give me a dollar I won’t hug you.

–7 Train

Small boy, loudly, after some take-off turbulence: The plane is going down… Everybody hug!

–Runway Strip, JFK

Overheard by: PSUny

When Managers Become Homeless

Bum: Will you watch my table and make sure no one uses it. Or if they do, then charge them $5.
Girl: No. Sorry, I’m leaving.
Bum: Ok then, will you give me a hug? I’ve had a bad day, I need a hug.
Girl: Um… Sorry, no.
Bum: Well, I need a hug, and you are supposed to do your civic duty!

–Union Square