I Traded for the Sweater and Some Magic Beans

Drunk wife, for the seventh time in 10 minutes: I can’t believe someone stole my sweater!
Drunk friend: I had a sweater once…
Drunk husband: Was it a man sweater?!
Drunk wife: Oh my god, I can’t find my phone!
Drunk husband: Maybe it’s with your sweater.
Drunk wife: I don’t know… But I got lots of soap!

Melbourne, Florida