Overheard In New York

Archive for the ‘Iraq’ Category

Wednesday One-Liner: What Is It Good For?

Cleaner: What a pair of tits on that girl! That’s why we go to war, that’s why we’re in Iraq!

–Service Elevator, Lexington & 41st St

Overheard by: Nicky

Annoying chick, about John McCain: I mean, he was a POW because he fucked up!

–Shea Stadium

Overheard by: megan

Security guard, breaking up fight during peace march: You can’t fight at the peace march! You can’t fight at the peace march!

–143 & Malcolm X

Woman to screaming three-year-old: And that’s why you have to register to vote! Or else they’ll draft you and you’ll have to go to war!

–33rd & 2nd

Girl on phone: I can just get a pass from the Israeli army. Don’t worry about it. They’re easy.

–NYU Palladium Dining Hall

Wednesday One-Liners for Hezbollah

Officer to old lady: Hey, don’t leave you bag on the floor, there are terrorist everywhere.

–45th St & 3rd Ave

Overheard by: StriderNo9

Suit on cell: So you’re gonna vote for a Muslim and a terrorist?

–MoMA

Hipster to friend: Yeah, terrorists totally love Bush.

–46th and 9th

Overheard by: choosing not to capitalize the B

Tourist: Are you guys terrorists?

–Rally for Gaza, 42nd & 7th

Overheard by: ooga booga

Loud black queer teen: But his best joke was like “What do you call people who hate ketchup?” (no response) “Al-Qaeda!” (bursts out laughing) Get it? It’s funny because they don’t have ketchup in Iraq!

–1 Train

Overheard by: Ketchup lover

NY’s Homeless Speak on the Issues

A hobo stumbles into the store, yelling things and making everyone uncomfortable. Suddenly, he stumbles upon the rack with copies of the New York Times, an image of Iraq on the front page. He stares in silence for a moment, and says: You think it’s bad being homeless? Imagine being in Fallujah!

–Starbucks, 59 St. & 9th Ave.

Overheard by: Andrea 

Two hobos are drinking malt liquor from paper bags. Hobo #1 shakes his head in dismay: …I tell you, I tell you – that’s why they’ll [sic] never be peace in the Middle East.

–29th St. & 2nd Ave.

Overheard by: Tricia Karsay

I Bet It Was an HMO

Guy #1: So when I started telling him my feelings on the Iraq war, he rolled over to me in his wheelchair and started cursing me out. He was going on about his time in Vietnam and how there are things about war I’ll never understand.
Guy #2: That sucks.
Guy #1: I was like, “Whoa. You’re my shrink! I’m paying you to listen to me!”
Guy #2: Seriously.
Guy #1: Well, at least the co-pay was only $15. But anyway, I’m definitely not going back to him. 

–Von, Bleecker & Elizabeth

Overheard by: Blondie