Overheard In New York

Archive for the ‘On the Subway’ Category

If Wednesday One-Liners Can Make It Here, They Can Make It Anywhere

Chick: Nothing says New York like a wire frog.

–Battery Park

Lady who has loudly complained to the waiter about the poor service: It’s people like that who give New York City a bad name.

–Lindy’s, 7th Ave

Overheard by: joemikehap

Amateur anthropologist: Of course I have a snarky attitude! I’m a New Yorker; it’s practically a requirement!

–F train

Overheard by: Braincurve

Tourist on cell: Yeah! I’m in New York! Yeah, it’s kinda like New Orleans, except bigger and you can’t drink in the streets.

–Grand Central

Man on bicycle: New York is about freedom! Suck a dick!

–Astor Place

Overheard by: Laura

Guy watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre trailer: See, that’s why I never leave New York. You never see crazy motherfuckers like that in New York…except for niggas on the train.

–Regal Cinemas, Court St, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Clitoris Rex

Little girl: There’s a lot of people in this New York City!

–Times Square

Welcome to the Wednesday One-Liner Positioning System

Girl on cell, looking for her friends: Can you see me? Look at the sun, I’m directly under it right now.

–Sheep Meadow, Central Park

Guy on cell: Yeah, we’ll go now. Okay. Right now, I’m at 116 and Hamsterdam – Hamsterdam? What the fuck did I just say? Oh, wow, that is a disturbing mental image. Yeah, exactly. River full of hamsters. Okay, see ya.

–116th & Amsterdam

Overheard by: That would be truly terrifying.

Harlem woman on cell: Come find me! I’m on the downtown side of the street!

–East Side

Drunk guy on cell: Yo, I’m on the corner of fuckin’ somethin’ an somethin’.

–42nd St & 5th Ave

Drunk on cell: Where am I? Where am I? I’m at the corner of Charles Street and motherfucking I don’t know!

–West Village

Woman to friends: Oh thank god! I feel so much safer now that we’re at 7th Avenue.

–G Train

Forty-Year-Old Wirgins

Asian guy #1: Dude, the Wii is so much better than the Cube.
Asian guy #2: No, the Cube is so much better!
Asian guy #3: Yeah, the Cube has so much more power, and the dynamics of the graphics…
Asian guy #2, interrupting: The graphics! They are soooo awesome!
Asian guy #1: Hey, guys? Why are we talking about video games?
Asian guy #3: Because we’re boys.
Asian guy #2: Nah…because we’re Asian.
Asian guy #3: Dude, if I could be Colossus it would be sooo cool, cuz I wouldn’t have to wear my glasses anymore!

–Downtown 6 Train

Overheard by: Emma

Headline by: Doc Dan

Runners-Up:
· “And Have an Undersized Metal Penis!” — Patrick
· “Every Asian Girl´s Parents´ Wet Dream!” — Ria
· “It Was at This Moment Kim Jong-il Selected His Son to Be His Successor” — What about NES?
· “Somewhere, the Mutant Sunspot Is Gently Weeping” — wirrrn

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

So Probably Was Just Very Tan

Black New Yorker guy and two white tourist ladies have a lengthy conversation about different places to visit in NYC.

Black guy: Okay, ladies, this is my stop. Bye!
White tourist lady #1: Bye! Have a great day! [To friend, as man departs at Astor Place] I didn’t feel threatened by him at all. He was actually a very nice man.

–6 train

Wednesday One-Liners for Vanessa Hudgens

Girl on phone: Well then, riddle me this, smart guy: why’d I wake up naked?

–Smith & Sackett, Cobble Hill

Overheard by: Swimfan

Girl: Oh my god! I can’t wait to see them naked!

–Elevator, Times Square Arts Center

Overheard by: Natalie

Museum worker: And then I woke up buck naked in a hotel, and there were pictures of me all over the room.

–Museum of Art and Design

Guy: No, I will not do it in here again. Just because I’m wearing nothing under my jacket, doesn’t mean I’m going to flash a crowd of people in every store we enter. I’ve done it three times already. Get your rocks off some other way.

–Columbus Circle Mall Escalator

Overheard by: Martin

Drunk girl at NYU protest: I don’t even know why I’m here, I just want to take off my clothes!

–NYU Kimmel Center

Overheard by: Lilo

Girl on train: Oh, hi! I didn’t recognize you with your clothes on.

–A Train

Overheard by: Don’t even wanna know

Girl on cell: So I’m gonna be naked, but that’s okay, I’ll be wearing rollerblades.

–N 4th & Bedford Ave