Got Any Sack-Hygiene Tips?

Frat boy #1: So, this chick loves to suck my balls.
Frat boy #2: Dude, you told us that, like, seven times.
Frat boy #3: Yeah, I’m beginning to think you’re lying.
Frat boy #1: But now I gotta really lather up down there.

–Pool bar

Overheard by: Scotched

Wednesday One-Liners Throw a Fit

Gay guy to another: Does working out your ass muscles make your ass bigger?

–Astoria, Queens

50-something on phone: You know, not all people who do yoga are like that! You know darn well that Jason is catholic and he does yoga!

–4th Ave & 13th St

Man to another: Doing yoga feels so much better than having sex. Like whenever I feel like having sex, I do yoga.

–Union Square

Yoga instructor: This next position is probably ill-conceived, much like the time I was talked into doing a cartwheel at a wedding.


Meathead to girl he just picked up: No, no, church is cool, I don't mind if you go to church or whatever. But I have football, that's my religion. 17 Sundays, and nobody misses that. People plan their weddings around football, I'm serious. And I have to go to the gym, that's my other religious experience.


Overheard by: rick

NYC Rules Require at Least One Person to Drop the F-Bomb

Hot hippie chick: Excuse me, you need a hand?
Old blind man: Nah, I'm just getting to the n train. Thanks so much, though!
Hot hippie chick: Alright, you have a great day!
Blind man: Same to you!
Overlooking suit to friend: Nice New Yorkers…they just blow my mind.

–Union Square Subway Station