Wasted guy #1: Let me see your phone.
Wasted guy #2: Why?
Wasted guy #1: I need to call my cell.
Wasted guy #2: Why?
Wasted guy #1: To see if it’s in my pocket.
Dallas, Texas
Overheard by: Tswerve
- Posted on December 30, 2023
- Cell phones, Drunks, Texas
Mom: So, how long are you going away with those people?
Daughter: The whole weekend. The whole fucking weekend with those morons!
Mom, reflecting: God… We’ll need to buy you a lot of booze.
São Paulo
Brazil
Bimbette #1: I wish I was fat.
Bimbette #2: I totally know what you mean.
Dallas, Texas
- Posted on December 25, 2023
- Bimbettes, Diet & weight, Texas
Chick to friend: Seriously, smell my face!
University Village
Riverside, California
- Posted on December 19, 2023
- Body parts, California, Chicks
Man to harried employee: I would like a latte, but please do not steam the milk any hotter than a hundred and thirty degrees…
Coffee stand, Washington National Airport
Washington, DC
- Posted on December 16, 2023
- Food, Jerks, Washington, DC
Man: Man, I’d like to have been around when Jesus put all them dinosaurs here. I figure that woulda been pretty cool.
Friend: Yeah, that woulda been cool.
Canyonlands National Park
Moab, Utah
Overheard by: Iain
Hot girl: I haven’t had sex in so long.
Cute friend, nodding: Mmmm.
Hot girl: Nobody pays attention to me…
Cute friend: It’s ’cause you only have boyfriends.
Hot girl: Yeah… And… [Whispers] I kinda like pooping.
Tampa, Florida
- Posted on December 10, 2023
- Bimbettes, Florida, Gender issues, Kink, Poop, Sex, Time Management
Dude #1: So he says, ‘If you can walk a straight line, you can come into my bar.’
Dude #2: And then he got raped!
Austin, Texas
Overheard by: ummmm
Biology professor: No, penises don’t just fall off. Guys, you have nothing to worry about.
University of Maryland
College Park, Maryland
Overheard by: Chicken
Waitress indicating empty seat: Would she like some dessert when she gets back?
Recently abandoned old man: No. She wasn’t feeling good so she went to the Hallmark Store.
Atlas Diner, Strawbridge
Virginia Beach, Virginia