Archive for the ‘Physical appearance’ Category

Wait a Minute– Are You the Creepy Guy?

Annoyed woman: And then there’s that one guy, that creepy guy who’s always harassing me.
Confused man: Who?
Annoyed woman: That guy, he’s really pale.
Confused man: Oh, is this the albino guy?
Annoyed: No, no, the albino guy is cool. It’s that film student.
Confused man: The guy who works at Anderson’s?
Annoyed woman: No, that’s the other one. He’s all right, that guy’s all right.

–R Train

Overheard by: Hannah

Janet Reno Day One-Liners

Short thug, holding baby, yelling at indie girl outside deli: My baby don’t like you! Don’t you ever come near my baby again! She thinks you got a ugly face!

–176th & Broadway

Overheard by: emily d.

Older woman to young couple proudly pushing baby stroller: That’s the ugliest baby I’ve ever seen!

–2nd Ave & 10th St

Tourist to another: I thought New York was supposed to be filled with good-looking people. My god, everyone here is so ugly!

–Midtown Bar

Husband to wife: Why do we always get ugly German nannies? Always! Why?

–Broadway & 13th St

Not Even the Women’s Studies Professor Is Safe From Gina and Ashley’s Critique

Student #1: I don’t know why that bitch has such a big ego, she’s fucking ugly.
Student #2: Yeah, I know, but she thinks she’s Paris Hilton or some shit.
Student #1: She’s probably getting fucked by some loser.

–St. John’s University

Overheard by: kapnasty

Headline by: Leema

Runners-Up:
· “…And Taping It to Launch Her “Career”” — LOLa
· “And I’m Taping It” — Victor
· “Hey, Don’t Call My Dad a Loser!” — PeterG
· “How Guys Interpret the Twilight Books” — john
· “Just Another Day Behind the Scenes Of “The View”” — Yobojo
· “Throw in a Chihuahua and a Coke Habit…” — someday, I could be that loser

Click here to see the new Headline Contest

It Takes a Lot of Effort To Make Wednesday One-Liners Look This Good

Guy to male friend: We believe that the better you look, the more spiritual you are.

–1st St & 5th Ave., Brooklyn

Overheard by: PrairieSquid

Man collecting money for the homeless: Come on guys, I’m way too pretty to be homeless.

–Union Square

Overheard by: Dara

Middle-aged African American male, with a blue NY Giants baseball cap on, and a fur coat: I’m pretty… I’m pretty… I’m pretty

–59th St Subway Station

Overheard by: nickporjr

Bum: Hey pretty! Hey pretty!
[Pretty girl coughs violently and sneezes at the same time.]Bum: Feel better, pretty.

–6th St & 7th Ave, Park Slope

Middle-aged, Chelsea-fit white guy on iPhone: Well, neither you nor any of your sisters were the beauty that I was…

–21st St & 8th Ave

Overheard by: Sean

Middle-aged man: You know who was good-looking? Stalin, when he was younger. He was so dashing!

–104th & West End

Overheard by: communist!

Read My Lips, Wednesday One-Liners

Girl on cell: No I’m not bringing anything, this is not a date, it’s 10 o’clock on a Friday night. I’m bringing my vagina, that’s what I’m bringing.

–Court St & 2nd Place

Girl on cell: I mean, there’s nothing obviously wrong with my vagina!

–23rd & 7th

Girl on bike: I feel like I’ve had a pencil up my vagina for 10 hours!

–Hudson River Bike Path

Distraught NYU student: I’m covered in vaginal cream.

–NYU Dorm, Union Square

Overheard by: Erica Fuld

Hurried young guy on cell: Well, you can’t just sniff anyone’s vagina!

–W 52nd b/w 9th & 10th Ave

Gay on phone: But what does her vag look like?

–Chelsea

Overheard by: Liz