Wednesday One-Liners Follow Their Bliss

Drunk girl: I remember the bouncing, I remember the moaning, I just can’t remember the name.

–Cooper 35, Astor Place

Overheard by: dan

Gay man: I went there to get spiritual, and I came back all ‘Boys, boys, boys.’

–5^th Ave & 11^th St

Chick on cell: This is one of those moments when polyamory would really come in handy, huh?

–Harlem

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Girl talking to herself: I am not a ho — I took the lie detector test, and it told you I was not a ho so stop calling me that.

–1 train

Overheard by: will

Chick: She had, like, 20 brothers and sisters because her dad was Haitian and he just kept sleeping with people…

–Subway bar, 60^th & Lex

Chick: This year I am going to try and not make out with both Samatha and her boyfriend.

–W 53^rd between 9^th and 10^th Ave

Overheard by: Still Laughing

Lucky 13

Hispanic woman #1: That old man goes from woman to woman. I mean, if you can get your little wormie to work, why not right?
Hispanic woman #2: I know! He has so many women coming in and out of his apartment. It’s like he’s 13 again.

–Staten Island Ferry

It’s Enough to Have an Albanian Boyfriend Who Beats Me

20-something girl #1, running into friend: Oh hey!! How are you?
20-something girl #2: Doing so well! It’s nice to see you…
(they catch up, and five minutes later)
20-something girl #1, changing the subject without warning: Yeah, I know a lot of Johns.
20-something girl #2, shocked: Oh. Hah… damn, girl! It has been a while. What’ve you been up to that you know a bunch of Johns?
20-something girl #1, after confused pause: Oh… Oh! I mean I know a lot of people named John. I don’t… Well… Yeah. I don’t do that.
20-something girl #2, laughing: Oh, good! Girl, I was gonna say, “Well, she used to be kind of a slut, but straight-up prostitution is a little out of character.“
20-something girl #1, laughing: I know, right?

–6 Train

Overheard by: …Did you miss that she just called you a slut?

Easy, Breezy, Beautiful: Wednesday One-Liners

Woman on phone: So, should I continue not being a whore or should I go get an emergency Brazilian?

–Lexington Ave & 58^th

Girl to friend: No, I can’t do tomorrow afternoon. I am getting waxed for the weekend. Just in case.

–3^rd Ave & 80^th St

Salesgirl to customer: You so have an exfoliating face!

–Sephora, 57^th & Lexington

Overheard by: Amanda

Creepy hobo on payphone: So, you’re doing your nails? Mmmmmm…

–Bleecker & Thompson

Overheard by: Thompson

Girl with pounds of makeup on: Yeah, I’m going on lunch right now. I am so exhausted, I did five makeovers today. Yeah, I am so tired…I had a butch.

–Elevator, Macy’s

Overheard by: K Melv

Thug: All I want is a mani-pedi.

–72^nd & Central Park West

Overheard by: wb

Mary Magdalene Was a Preppy Asian Chick?

Preppy Asian girl #1: Look! The crazy religious people gave me a key chain.
Preppy Asian girl #2: What’s it say?
Preppy Asian girl #1: That I’m number one with Jesus.
Preppy Asian girl #2: I don’t think Jesus will appreciate the fact that you’re a slut.

–N Train

Here We See the Archetypal Enabler

Teen girl #1: Yeah, so John totally wants me to give him head even though I barely know him and we’ve never even hooked up.
Teen girl #2: That’s so weird.
Teen girl #1: I know! It’d be such a slutty thing to do. And I’ve never even given a blowjob before.
Teen girl #2: Yeah, totally.
Teen girl #1: Then again, I feel like giving head is something I should do before I turn 16.
Teen girl #2: Good point.
Teen girl #1: So I’m totally going to do it.
Teen girl #2: Awesome, I can give you tips!

–Metro-North

Preferably Someplace with Cameras

Girl #1: I will not touch your chest on a crowded subway.
Girl #2: Some other place, then.

–4 Train

You’ve Been Waiting for an Excuse to Use That One, Haven’t You?

NYU girl: I’m not surprised that she has mono. I mean, she’s been a slut for a while now. It was bound to catch up with her.
Friend: Yeah, she’s a reverse jukebox.
NYU girl: A what?
Friend: You know how you put money into a jukebox and it makes noise? Guys put their dicks in her to make her shut the fuck up.

–NYU Silver Center

Wednesday One-Liners Are Just “Sociable”

Drunk gay man: I’ve slept with more men than my mom has!

–Ave A

Overheard by: Let his own mom win that contest

Woman to man: I don’t want to be known as the whore of New Yorkers.

–9^th Ave & 44^th St

Woman on cell: It’s just sex. There’s no way you guys can ever be permanently tied, or anything.

–Macy’s

Preppy, middle-aged woman, about man on iPhone: Who is that whore?

–Bookstore, Brooklyn

Overheard by: ‑she probably said

Figures Don’t Lie

Girl: How long since we broke up is it okay for my ex to start having sex?
Guy: Who broke up with who?
Girl: I broke up with him last week. He slept with four girls since.
Guy: I think if you broke up with him, it’s okay for him.
Girl: Damn, cause I only slept with one guy since. But I did cheat on him with three guys, so we’re even.

–21^st St

Overheard by: learning something new everyday

Overheard In New York

Archive for the ‘Promiscuity’ Category