NYU girl #1: Oh my god, could you imagine living in that apartment building with no windows?
NYU girl #2: Honey, no.
–Outside Manhattan Detention Center, Centre St
Archive for the ‘Real Estate’ Category
Three Months There is Pretty Dumb
Polish man: Her 3 bedroom apartment in Williamsburg is empty for 9 months every year!
American man: What am I missing here?
Polish man: She’s an idiot!
–Union Square
No Pun Intended
Attorney: Wow, it’s really bad outside!
Front Desk Lady: I hope it’s not like that when it’s time to go home.
Attorney: Hey, don’t you live in Staten Island?
Front Desk Lady: No I don’t. And even if you buy me a $4 million house there, I still wouldn’t live in that dump.
–Midtown office
Overheard by: Felson
When the Bubble Bursts, a BJ Will Do It
Twentysomething girl: So, you think I should tell him I’ll sleep with him for that apartment?
Supportive friend: Oh, absolutely.
–2nd Ave station
Anthony Washed Out of St. Louis
Realtor #1: New York is a great place to move to. They say if you can’t make it here, you can’t make it anywhere.
Realtor #2: Anthony, that’s not what they say. It goes, “if you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.”
–2nd & Houston
It’s Actually Just the Sheepshead Bay
Girl #1: I have the best view of the Hudson River from my bedroom window.
Girl #2: Oh, did you move to the West Side?
Girl #1: Um, no. I still live on the East Side.
Girl #2: You mean the East River?
Girl #1: Whatever, you’re not invited.
–University & 10th
50 States plus Wednesday One-liners
Mom: Indiana isn’t a state; I’m not sure it will be on there…Oh.
–JFK
Overheard by: Pierre-François Dubois
How About a Studio on Poser Place?
Hipster #1: So, I’m going to buy a place. I can’t afford much, but I’m totally willing to go ghetto.
Hipster #2: Really? You know you can get some pretty good deals a few stops on the G line.
Hipster #1: Dude! I said I was willing to go ghetto, not live on the G!
–Metropolitan & Lorimer, Brooklyn
Overheard by: JP
“Blood Hook” Is Not As Catchy
Guy #1: You know it’s just a name the real estate agents came up with so they could raise the rents.
Guy #2: What?
Guy #1: Red Hook.
–B61 bus
Overheard by: Becca McLean
Wednesday One-liners
Girl on cell: I shit you not, it was a small studio apartment converted into a four bedroom on the 6th floor.
–47th & 9th
Fat suit on cell: How many people play the drums in Poland, really?…What? Wow. Cool. Well, plenty of time to practice I guess.
–Penn Station
Overheard by: Max T‑M
MTV chick: When I used to read, I went from the last chapter to the first.
–MTV cafeteria
Hipster: They’re always on the same train, so the first time you give them money, then remember your face. Every time you get on the train after that, they’ll follow you around. It’s like having your own 6‑foot pet!
–1 train
Overheard by: spike
