Overeager sales associate: Welcome to American Eagle! Can I help you find anything?
Guy: No thanks, just looking.
Overeager sales associate: Hey, you know what would really look good on you?
Guy: What?
Overeager sales associate: Jeans!
Guy: Uh… I guess I like jeans.
Overeager sales associate: That’s music to my ears!
–American Eagle, Union Square
Overheard by: doubeldee
Teen boy: Yo, I got the munchies, B…Yo, what happened to the guys with candy and shit? Shit was mad convenient.
–1 train
Overheard by: I. J. Meyers
Woman: Hi, do you have any meatloaf?…Um, that’s not meatloaf.
Store lady: It’s almost the same.
Woman: Not really…Do you have any meatloaf?
Server lady: It’s the same thing. It’s beef. It all tastes the same.
Woman: Yeah, okay. I’ll take three.
–Whole Foods, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Grace Aldridge
Girl #1: Oh, look! Those clothes are cute. Let’s go look over there.
Girl #2: Those are maternity clothes.
Girl #1: Oh my God, no way!
Girl #2: Yes, see? It says “A Pea in the Pod Maternity Clothes”.
Girl #1: Oh wow, I had no idea!
Girl #2: Yeah, they are.
Girl #1: Well! There isn’t going to be a pea in this pod any time soon, I can tell you that!
–Macy’s
Guy #1: Last summer I was hangin’ out in Richmond for a weekend and me and some other people were havin’ a party and someone gave me and this girl a pill and told us it was painkillers.
Guy #2: Oh yeah? Sounds like…fun.
Guy #1: Well the next day, after we had had sex in a pool in front of like 30 people for about 10 hours, the girl who told us it was painkillers told us it was actually Cialis.
–CVS, 23rd & 1st
Overheard by: katie facada
White guy: FAO Schwarz used to be a fun place to hang out.
Black guy: Yeah.
White guy: They’ve changed it, though. It doesn’t smell the same.
–57th & 6th
Overheard by: Mark F.
JAP on cell: If more people wore glitter there would no war.
–Therapy Store
Crazy old guy: I want a dog for president. You know why? Dogs don’t start wars.
–31St & Ditmars, Astoria
Overheard by: Randi and Patrick
(at an anti-war rally)
Street vendor: Say no to war, say yes to Louis Vuitton!
–Midtown
Overheard by: Oh the irony
50-something guy on cell: You see, we are a military agency, not a government agency. (pause) So when I punched out that Homeland Security guy, I punched out a civilian.
–Union Square Park
Overheard by: Ksenia
Eight-year-old boy: I dare you to fight in the civil war!
–7 Train
Girl: Hey, what’s this about?
Guy: Uh, it’s a documentary.
Girl: So they just march around?
–Borders, Time Warner Center
Overheard by: JHA
Girl #1: That place is so off the hook.
Girl #2: I totally need to go. What days is it open?
Girl #1: Yo, every day. Like 400 days a year.
–77th Street R station
Little girl: Are we going to Manhattan to the big shopping mall place?
Dad: You’ve spent enough money. We’re going to Manhattan and riding in a cab!
–Amtrak to Penn Station
Overheard by: Erica
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist