Girl #1: I have to go to a wine-tasting tonight for some charity.
Girl #2: What’s the charity?
Girl #1: I don’t know, some kind of dystrophy.
–In front of the Time Warner Center, Columbus Circle
Overheard by: Frances E. Flynn
Archive for the ‘Rich people’ Category
The Island of Dr. Wednesday One-Liners
Man on cell: Was there a lot of bleeding? [unintelligible reply] Well, was it four sheep or five? [reply] We have to find a way to separate the cows from the sheep.
–Elevator, 56th & 8th
Drunk girl, yelling: All I want is a llama! Another cocktail and a llama!
–Terminal 5
Dude: So you’re enjoying acting, LA, monogamy, horses?
–Cafe Esperanto
Chick to friend: I don’t care how well you clean it, I am not doing shots out of that alligator!
–TriBeCa
Overheard by: lalala
Swanky pin-stripe suit on cellphone: The little shit will definitely get approved. He’s as healthy as a French gay ox.
–51st & 3rd
Overheard by: IG
Young black dude: You know the movie The Lion King? Yeah The Lion King! …You know, the one with all the tigers.
–4 Train
Overheard by: BQM lady
Man: Manatees are the most peaceful creatures in the world… They get hit by motor boats!
–Astor Place
Totally Worth It If You Want to Ascend to a Higher Plane
Businesswoman #1: So I had to go in this little booth, and it has these tiny holes that shoot air at you! And I was like “What on earth is this for?” and the security guy said “Oh, it’s so we can get a sense of your aura.” I mean really, they don’t let you get on a plane if your aura is bad?
Businesswoman #2: Wow, I guess so. Airport security is getting really tight these days.
Businesswoman #1: Seriously.
–50th & 7th
Overheard by: Arielle
But That Priest Just Looked Confused When I Put It in the Collection Plate
Rich girl #1: I feel like I haven’t done anything today. I just woke up and got high.
Rich girl #2: No, you donated a tampon. That’s like, totally a tax write-off!
–LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: Dianne
Washed Leather, Gin and Tonics, and Money
Waspy woman #1, walking into J.Crew: It smells like J.Crew!
Waspy woman #2: It smells so good!
–J.Crew, Soho
Why Do We Even Bring Them to This Country?
Filthy rich mom #1: I don’t know what I’ll do this summer. I mean, my nanny has a life.
Filthy rich mom #2: Ugh, I know. That’s exactly the trouble.
–Collegiate School, W 78th St
Remind Him to Pick Up My Dry Cleaning While You’re at It.
Middle-aged rich woman: Do you want to have time to have dinner tonight, honey?
Middle-aged rich man: How the hell should I know? Call my assistant!
Middle-aged rich woman: The next time I call your assistant will be the day after I’ve just fucked him.
–72nd St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: felix
…But I’m Gonna Have to Mace You Now, Sweetie.
Saleswoman: Hi, can I help you?
Rich woman: (ignores her)
Saleswoman: Hello…? Hi. How are you? Can I help?
Rich woman: What do you want?
Saleswoman: Um…I was just saying hello?
Rich woman: Oh! You were being friendly! How cute! Hello to you, too.
–3rd & Madison Ave
Conversing with My Personal Sensei
Bookstore girl to six-year-old in suit: Hey little boy, are you lost? Where is your nanny?
Six-year-old: I don’t know, but I see my driver outside!
–Bookstore, Upper East Side
Overheard by: AlphaNYC
But If Anyone Asks, I Called Jenny
Suit #1: So I’d been working out for two hours a day, almost daily, for a few months.
Suit #2: How was that?
Suit #1: Well I wasn’t losing any weight, so then I remembered… I’m really rich, I could just get lipo.
–Nassau & Wall St.
Overheard by: slave for the man
