Girl #1: I love Alex’s toes. They are like little bulbous fingers.
Girl #2: Oh my god, you would love Susan’s toes…
–16th St & Union Square West
Archive for the ‘Rumor Has It’ Category
I Feel Sorry for the Poor Bitch
Girl: Did you hear about that new dog they’re breeding? It’s called
a pewgle.
Guy: What kinda dog is that?
Girl: Oh, it’s a pug and um…um…a bugle.
–Deli, 53rd & 6th
Overheard by: Janelle F
The Man Who Boned Grandma (NYC Short Stories)
Tourist grandpa: I’m going to sit here. Do you want a snack?
Tourist grandson: Sure.
Tourist grandpa: Here’s some money. Go over there and buy yourself something. And if you can find somebody nice, ask where we can get some cheesecake.
–Greeley Square
Overheard by: Nick Turner
Hasidic boy: Poppola, I heard a rumor that when a cow gets a cut from the milking machine, and blood gets in the milk…they have to turn it into chocolate milk, so people won’t know it’s there.
Hasidic grandpa: We should be so lucky!
–4 train
Overheard by: Raden Mutter
A Real Man Doesn’t Refer to Scarlett Johansson as “It”
Queer #1: Well, I walked in and he was doing it in the bathroom again!
Queer #2: That ain’t what a man do.
–34th & 6th
Overheard by: girl laughing in front
Someone Please Punch Her
Bitch: Oh hi! We were just speaking very poorly about you!
–Art Gallery, SoHo
Overheard by: Tibbie X
All Hat and No Cattle, As It Were
Old lady: I tell you, if you’ve seen one naked cowboy, you’ve seen them all!
Friend: Oh!
–87th & Park
Yet They Won’t Have Useless Diplomas
Guy: Yo, did you hear what Bush wants to do? He wants to get rid of financial aid for college.
Girl: Really?
Guy: Yeah…soon we all gon’ have to be drug dealers. Seeing crackheads will be normal.
–Washington Heights
Overheard by: clari
Although It’s Possible Neve Campbell Is Still Alive
Preppy teen boy #1: No, dude. She was in love with horses, remember? She liked screwing them — that’s how she died.
Preppy teen boy #2: No, no. That is not true. It was some accident having to do with horses.
Preppy teen boy #1: Yeah, exactly. She was screwing the horse, and then it fell on her. That’s how she died.
Preppy teen boy #2: Dude, that’s so wrong.
–45th St
Overheard by: wow
Quite an Anti-climax
Man: Her first husband told her he was gay after 7 years. Her second was a loveless marriage. And then she had coffee with me!
–La Lanterna
Someday, He’ll Be Right
Blonde: Sean, Em just told us something very interesting about herself!
Queer: What? Oh my god! Did you finally have butt sex? I knew it! You let him stick it in your butt.
–Outside the W, Union Square
Overheard by: she had a nice butt…
