Middle schooler #1: Yo, is there, like, a gay country?
Middle schooler #2: Hell no, son!
Middle schooler #3: Naaah. There is. I think it’s called ‘The Village,’ but I don’t know where it is.
–Brooklyn Middle School
Archive for the ‘School’ Category
To Make Partying with Myself Easier
Uniformed school girl: Aunt Diane, Jennifer is waiting for you to come get her.
Aunt Diane: I’m coming here now to give her this fucking money so she can go to the party.
Uniformed school girl: Really?! Can I go to the party?!
Aunt Diane: Shiiit, go back to the apartment and party with your-fucking-self. Why do you have a hole in your fucking stockings?
–Outside a school
Overheard by: Carl
Sweetie, All Girls Your Age Are the Same Person
Girl #1: I have raisins living in my bag.
Girl #2: … We really are the same person.
–Bard High School Early College
But Do They Message You the Morning After?
Engineer #1: I would poke her, man. I would poke the life out of her.
Engineer #2: I have poked her. I have poked the life out of her.
Girl, walking by: Look, you two need to get laid. Facebook means nothing to us girls; we get a billion pokes a day.
–Brooklyn Polytechnic Institute
Dad Did All the Crying
Nine-year-old girl #1: My mom says that she was in so much pain giving birth to me that they had to give her surgery. My head was too big.
Nine-year-old girl #2: Your head is not big!
Nine-year-old girl #1: Yeah, but when I was a baby it was huge.
Nine-year-old girl #2: Weird. Did you have some sort of disease?
Nine-year-old girl #1: No, but when I came out I wasn’t crying, I was twirling my hair.
–Mannes College of Music
They Walked–A Lot
Chick: I can never understand how Native Americans stayed in such great shape, and still smoked as much as they did.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: m‑co
Readers: Answer This Slang Question
Construction Worker: So is Camel Toe the same as Hammer Time?
–Pace University
Overheard by: Lil
But I’m Pretty Sure Xavier’s Mansion Is in Weschester, NY
Student #1: Yo, what’s in Iceland?
Student #2: Nigga, what do you think? Ice, obviously!
Student #1: Don’t that mean Iceman lives there, then?
Student #2: Good question…
–High School for Environmental Studies, W 56th St
My Prose, for Instance.
Chef, checking to make sure everyone has washed their hands: Are you sterile?
Older man: In more ways than one.
–Rustico Cooking Studio
Overheard by: Lobster
It’s All About Rita Now, MTV Generation
Twin girl #A: Yeah, she said she was going to do the school year here.
Unique girl: She came from Kentucky? Why did she come so far?
Twin girl #B: Louisiana is a state. Kentucky is another state.
Unique girl: Oh, well why’d she come to New York? Couldn’t she stay in her house in Louisiana?
Twin girl #A: Um, no, a hurricane hit New Orleans. That’s why she’s here.
Unique girl: Right, right. I forgot about that.
–Kew Gardens station
