Roommate #1: Y’all need to cover up ’cause I can see your pussylips and that’s just not appropriate.
Roommate #2: Really?
Roommate #1: No.
–Pratt Institute
Archive for the ‘Sorority Girls’ Category
That, and Standing Next to You Makes Me Look Thinner.
College girl #1: I don’t want a flesh-eating disease.
College girl #2: Me either.
College girl #3: Yeah, me either.
College girl #1: Wow, we have so much in common! No wonder we’re friends.
–Fordham University
Overheard by: Sromeo
…But Won’t Your Grandma Be Wearing the Same Thing?
College girl: I have nothing to wear to the party tonight.
College guy: You could wear that thing you wore last night.
College girl: I can’t do that! Plus, it’s a theme party.
College guy: Well, you could wear that naked thing…?
College girl: Do you think I could get away with that?
College guy: Well, it’s lace, so it’s sort of Victorian.
–6 Train
Overheard by: sort of…
Unfortunately the Package Came Express
Guy: You had sex in a mailbox?
Girl #1: By a mailbox. In my building.
Girl #2: You must have been wearing a skirt.
Girl #1: Well, a dress, yeah.
–UWS party
More Like “You Need to Come Out”
Sorority girl #1: How are things going with him?
Sorority girl #2: Okay, I guess. I mean, his favorite band is the Smiths, so I’m like “you need to get out of 1999, dude.”
–Blue Ribbon bakery, Downing Street
Overheard by: Adam Graham
Wednesday Puts Its One-Liners on One Leg at a Time
Guy on cell: In a wig, with his pants down, watching her from his car.
–33rd St, Astoria
Overheard by: Ferna
Teen to another: Barack Obama said, “pull your pants up!”
–Broadway & 72nd St
NYU girl: I wanna do it, and I wanna do it in my pants box.
–Weinstein Hall, NYU
Border’s employee to man sleeping in chair: Sir, could you please wake up? …and also zip up your pants.
–Borders
Guy on phone: Well, I guess I thought you might be kind of gay after you invited me to that “no pants” party.
–Astoria
Let Him Raid My Lost Ark! Enter My Temple Of Doom!
NYU girl #1: What about Harrison Ford? You know, Indiana Jones?
NYU girl #2: Ew! He’s like, 80.
NYU girl #1: He’s 67, thank you, and I’d wrangle his whip anytime!
–Washington Square
Lions, and Tigers, and Wednesday One-Liners — Oh My!
20-something woman on cell: Did I tell you mom got into a fight with a raccoon again? (pause) Yeah, I know, our mom is totally going to die of rabies.
–Starbucks, West Village
Overheard by: Vaccinated for rabies
Guy to another: Flap your wings baby, just flap your wings!
–Broadway
Woman, shouting at no one in particular: You know I’m unstoppable! I’m like an ox!
–1 Train
Overheard by: Rose Fox
NYU girl: My mother was like, “what would you do with a giant inflatable turkey?” and I was like, “what wouldn’t you do with a giant inflatable turkey?”
–3rd Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: Mickey
The American Electorate, in a Nutshell
NYU boy: What are you guys doing tonight?
NYU girl: We might be going to a frat party in Queens.
NYU boy: There are so many things wrong with that sentence.
NYU girl: You wanna go?
NYU boy: Yeah, sure.
–3rd Ave & 11th St
…Actually, I Have No Idea What You’re Trying to Say
NYU girl #1: I mean, and she was like, and I was like, and like…
NYU girl #2: Yeah…
–Coles Gym, NYU
Overheard by: Currer Bell
