Hispanic woman #1: That old man goes from woman to woman. I mean, if you can get your little wormie to work, why not right?
Hispanic woman #2: I know! He has so many women coming in and out of his apartment. It’s like he’s 13 again.
–Staten Island Ferry
Chick on cell: I just fell asleep! It’s not like I’m seeing other people.
–42nd & 5th
Overheard by: Cresny
Chick: You told me you was a celebrity! I sucked yo dick!
–Union Square
Chick: I’m no whore. I told him, the closest you’re getting to getting me from behind, you know, doggie style, is licking your own balls and humping my leg.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: stuck in great kills
Dude: Hi, I’m looking for the World Trade Center.
Cop: Uhhh, yeah… You need to go to Manhattan.
–Ferry Terminal, Staten Island
Overheard by: Ghost Rock It
Girl: Like, my grandmother got stabbed with an ice pick by her brother. And then they were estranged for years.
–Bobst Library, Washington Square South
Thugette: … And that was the last time I ever messed around with dehydration, yo.
Preggers thugette: Fo’ real.
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: wait.. what?
Hobo: Shit, I’m jus’ tryin’ ta get me some pussy and a beef sandwich.
–Union Square
Overheard by: Jason K
Old bag lady: I’m looking for some change, some food, or a sexual partner.
–Lafayette & Great Jones
Hobo: I have something to say! I fucked your daughter! And she liked it! And she was tight!
–W. 4th & University
Overheard by: Snezhana Valdman
Hobo: Too many Police investigations stopping you from reaching your destination? I may be homeless, but I got a brain. It may not be a big brain, but it’s usingable!
–Staten Island ferry
Overheard by: Joel Guilbert
Hobo: Well, since you won’t give me money, one more thing. Has your sister or girlfriend, I don’t know who she is, ever told you that bag does not go with that coat?
–45th & 9th
Overheard by: Paul Schellenberg
Drunk hobo: Hey girl! You look like Aretha Franlin! R‑E-S-E-C-P‑T! R‑E-S-E-C-P‑T! Give me some respect!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Evan
Hobo: It’s 90 degrees out. Why are we wearing clothes? That’s mental illness.
–Rockefeller Center station
German tourist #1: We went to the Jewish Heritage Museum yesterday and the security was crazy! The metal detector reacted to the button of my jeans, they didn’t let me carry my bag, and I had to hand in my jacket as well. They didn’t even do that when we toured the UN building!
German tourist #2: Maybe you were just racially profiled.
–Staten Island Ferry
A hobo is talking into his hand as if it were a phone.
Hobo: Fuck that shit. I’m going dancing!
He hangs up his imaginary phone.
Hobo: Damn, that bitch talks too much.
–Staten Island ferry
Guy: Yeah, that date movie was dumb.
Girl: Oh, you saw it?
Guy: No, but I could tell by the font it would be dumb. It was the same font as Scary Movie and Not Another Teen Movie. I really hated those movies.
Girl: Ahhh, impact.
Guy: What?
Girl: The font. It’s called “impact.”
–Staten Island Ferry
Crazy guy gasps: Help! [No one moves.] I said, ‘Help’!
Chick on cell: He said, ‘Help.’
–Staten Island Ferry
Overheard by: Nicole
Hat Tip 🎩 to The Marketing Scientist